The Monday Stupid People Funnies

Made it to work at 7am. Been here for a whopping 42 minutes, and have already had to deal with three stupid people.

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I was going to write something witty and insightful, today, but I can’t make things happen right now. Mostly it’s a lack of caffeine, but it’s also how much brain energy I had to use to make out said stupid so I can work effectively.


So here’s some funnies for your Monday.








Happy Monday, folks!


The Girl at Fault

Well, shit.

I did it.

I’m irresponsible. 

But, at least I keep my goddamn promises. 

The magical $677 is from the apartment and S.O.’s going to pay it (because paying it right this second even though it’s been on his credit for almost a year is SO MUCH MORE important than going to talk to HR about that position… you know the one that’s a $20k raise… that will start our life ACTUALLY together… because priorities, right?)

I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

I feel simultaneously like some albatross combined with weekend fun.

Chore girl, whore girl.

But this time, I guess I’m a horrible human being for costing him $677 from a goddamn apartment that was out of my budget, but he PROMISED he’d move in with me and PROMISED he’d help with even when he WASN’T living there…

I’m irresponsible. Because I lived above my means and relied on someone else to keep their word. I went into debt for this apartment. I sold my engagement ring to pay rent on this apartment. I got a shitty, fucking crazy flakey roommate to pay for this apartment. 

But I keep my word. 

I don’t know if I want to do this anymore.

Maybe it’s time to tap out.

Been a pretty interesting seven years of absolutely no progression… no living.

Just stuck existing in this goddamn stagnant limbo in between adult hood and prepetual adolescence.

Sometimes, even though I am irreponsible, I still feel like the most adult. The person who is bad with money, but aiight with the rest of life. The person who has endured real and actual hardship and pulled myself up from homelessness to something else better by the bootstraps. 

I don’t know anyone else in my immediate peer group who has done that.

Mommy and daddy are awesome safety nets.

Sometimes for me. Sometimes not.

Not always. 

Speaking of parents, guess whose persona el numero uno on their shit list?

My folks came through. My nana refused to let me go without a phone because it’s a safety issue and she got my phone turned back on. My Daddy-O is scraping money out of his budget to help me out. 

Daddy-O’s mad that I didn’t tell him sooner. That I just kept it to myself.

Daddy-O’s not mad at me, though. 

You know… usually when I have these awful anxiety attacks… kind of like I’m having now… where I can’t rationalize myself out of it because there’s just nothing rational to find purchase on.

I’d take about four benadryl and chill. There’s a long standing relationship between antianxiety meds and antihistamines. Visteril (which I can’t take because it makes me hallucinate) is both a great antihistimine and an antianxiety because it depresses parts of the central nervous system and eases the fight or flight reflex associated with anxiety attacks.

But I can’t take any benadryl because I have to go to the allergist.

So, I’m just going to sit here, be pooky and sad for myself, and claw my skin off because everything itches and sneezes.

I might put on some Rob Zombie, Rammstein, Manson, or some Death Punch and angry clean. 

E — all of the above. 

The Allergist Adventures — Part 2… And Other Stuff


Everything itches. So much.

Not cool.

This marks four days without allergy medicine. My head feels like it’s going to explode, my skin itches everywhere.

I know this is trite and cliche, but I think I’m allergic to work. More specifically, the building I work in.

Every time I walk in, everything just gets clogged up, my head starts hurting, and my arms and legs itch.

It’s weird.

Six more days without allergy medicine — then I get to see the allergist and they will put their big brains together and figure out what I’m allergic to.

This better be worth it.

I talked with my Daddy-O last night. He’s going to be extra kind and throw some money in my checking account so I can eat… and pay my copays… and have gas for my car.

Also my Nana had my phone turned back on.

My family, despite everything, has some awesome moments.

And now S.O. is on my dad’s shit list for not helping.

“I wish you’d told me earlier you were tight on cash”

Sorry dad, but I’m trying to be independent.

“S.O. should really help you out. It’s kind of his job.”


“You make it too easy for him.”

I concur.

Dad wants me to move to Deland to be closer to them. I’m beginning to wonder if I should. I did apply for a state job down that way — perfectly qualified for, and I’d be making more money than I do now.

I checked the rental situation there and it’s pretty scant. I don’t want anything over $750, but I might have to make some sacrifices.


Now, if my head would stop pounding, like it has been for the last four days, that would be super awesome.

Also, followers in FL — Publix has huge containers of blueberries 2 for $5.

Do it!


The Unexpected Sums Totaling Over $300


I don’t ever really talk about this, because honestly it’s embarrassing — but then I’ve been pretty self deprecating here… so why not?

I’m bad with money.

Like real bad.

My bills get paid… mostly.

Sometimes I have to triage… because you know, there’s a hierarchy. Rent always comes first. Utilities next, but I know I can make a partial, and just have a past due and pay when I have a better pay check. I’m stuck in a position where no work = no pay. I don’t have paid holidays, I don’t have paid sick leave. Every time I miss work I have to stay late/come in early and make it up. If I can’t I just have to suck up the fact my pay check is going to suck.

Same with car insurance.

I do a month to month (straighttalk) for my phone so that if I can’t reload, I can just let my service end and refill when I get paid again.

Then there’s gas for my car.

And my routine is aiight.

I can’t save because I don’t have any money to save.

I mean, I do eat better than I did before — being poor is hell on your diet. Everything that’s bad for you is cheaper than everything that is good for you.

But yeah… anything unexpected over $300 makes me hyperventilate.

Two years ago, S.O. cosigned an apartment with me. The plan was (and is) for him to move in and have a job here.

As I lived in that apartment I realized how much I hated it. I was solely paying the rent which consumed 50% of my income. I moved out on the day my lease ended. I gave 30 days notice I was moving.

They came back saying I needed to give 60 days, which would have put me have to pay them an extra month that a) I wasn’t staying there and b) past my contract end date.

And I flatly told them they were full of shit and I wasn’t going to pay them for another month.

And I thought I had It handled.

Until S.O. told me there was activity on his credit report that had a 60% chance of being those assholes or fraudulent activity.

It’s only $677… but it’s more than enough to make me hyperventilate.

And the agency in charge of collecting said debt — bunch of really, and truly horrible human beings.

He came out on Tuesday and asked me if I knew who these people are.

I didn’t, honestly, but as soon as I Googled the business I felt the pucker factor.

Oh fuck.


And the reviews got worse and worse.


If it is due to that apartment complex… I just feel awful about the whole thing.

I’ve been in this perpetual state of anxiety and panic for the past two days.


Just shit.


I probably can’t pay. I’m so pinched for money the next week I’m considering whether or not to have a phone or eat… eat well.

I might go off keto, not because I want to but because I cant afford it.

My rent went up to $689, because I have been sick, my paycheck is going to be $810ish. Leftovers will be roughly $120. I have a $40 specialist copay next week. Now it’s $80. Gas = $20. Phone = $50, which would leave me with $10. So I’m forgoing the phone —  I have to live on $60 for the next two weeks and I need groceries, toilet paper, and cat litter.

I can see lots of frozen veggies and canned tuna in my future.

So I brought up my super brokeness to S.O.

“Well, I can survive on $50 for two weeks. I’m thinking about dropping my gym membership.”

Love, here’s the thing. You choose to and you don’t have to make the sacrifice between having a phone and eating, or gas, or having to go see a specialist because your body hates you.

You don’t have medical expenses.

And this isn’t me being entitled to his money. I don’t feel that way at all. But sometimes I feel like I make it too easy for him, being very independent, that when I actually do need help he doesn’t do the “boyfriend” obligation of helping me out.

So, I called my Nana — and she’s going to pay my phone and have my daddy-o put some money in my bank.

She also said S.O. is a shit head.

Sometimes I agree.


The Keto Diaries — The War on Coconut Oil and an Update


Good afternoon, fine folks.

I wanted to comment on the American Heart Association’s (AHA) denouncement of coconut oil.

I write this while sipping on my Bullet Proof Coffee — two whopping table spoons of coconut oil and butter.


I went there.

It kind of makes me wonder if there is a conspiracy theory to keep people unhealthy.

Maybe big pharma wants to keep pushing those statins.

I mean, I mentioned this in a comment on Tamara’s post:

This whole “fat is bad” thing reminds me of the old Einstein cliche of insanity — doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

By demonizing all fat and impressing this low fat/non fat lifestyle on 300 million folks, expecting them to magically become fit and healthy is insanity.

The government and organizations such as this keep pushing this low fat/no fat diet that’s not working. People are MORE obese and unhealthy since it’s implementation. Yeah, you think your healthy because you’re eating something carby cooked in canola oil. But it’s low fat!

Face palm.

Vegetable oils, like canola oils, are just gross. They were originally industrial byproducts that someone figured out they could sell and make some money out of:

Now let’s compare that to the production of canola oil. Here’s an overly simplified version of the process:

Step 1: Find some “canola seeds.” Oh wait, they don’t exist. Canola oil is actually made from a hybrid version of the rapeseed… most likely genetically modified and heavily treated with pesticides.

Step 2: Heat the rapeseeds at unnaturally high temperatures so that they oxidize and are rancid before you ever buy them.

Step 3: Process with a petroleum solvent to extract the oils.

Step 4: Heat some more and add some acid to remove any nasty wax solids that formed during the first processing.

Step 5: Treat the oil with more chemicals to improve the color.

Step 6: Deodorize the oil to mask the horrific smell from the chemical processing.


  • Canola Oil
  • Corn Oil
  • Soybean Oil
  • “Vegetable” oil
  • Peanut Oil
  • Sunflower Oil
  • Safflower Oil
  • Cottonseed Oil
  • Grapeseed Oil
  • Margarine
  • Shortening
  • Any fake butter substitutes

Do use:

  • Coconut Oil (Use expeller-pressed to avoid a coconut flavor)
  • Tallow
  • Lard
  • Butter
  • Palm Oil (Although, please find from a sustainable source as so much palm oil today is being harvested in horrific ways. When in doubt just stick with coconut oil.)
  • Extra-Virgin Olive Oil (Great for non-heat dishes like salad dressings, humus, mayo, etc. Can be used in cooking at lower temperatures or when combined with another saturated fat like butter or coconut oil.)
  • Avocado Oil (Great for non-heat dishes)
  • Other fats (not necessarily for cooking, but essential to good health) include meats, eggs, dairy, and fish (nuts are also good in moderation as they have a high level of polyunsaturated fats).

For me keto is my own little form of rebellion — I eat like people have told me to NOT eat.

Ketovangelist kitchen recommends removing them because:

Vegetable oils come in many shapes and sizes, though it’s more difficult to find the solid form (vegetable shortening) these days, because they are high in harmful trans fats. Vegetable oils are high in Omega-6, which is inflammatory and a leading cause of all kinds of systemic disease. Think about vegetable oils this way…they were first used as industrial components, because they were waste products of food production. Vegetable oils, the nice golden oils in those pleasantly shaped clear plastic bottles, are industrial waste. They are cheap to make and sell.

Bacon all day. I just had two boiled eggs for lunch. Burgers stuffed with cheese, smothered with cheese, and topped with an egg fried in butter. Fat bombs made with butter, cream cheese, etc… Coffee with coconut oil and butter.

And I’ve lost 37lbs.

I weighed in yesterday at 233lbs. I started at 270lbs.

I’ve lost that in five and a half months.

This is the lightest I’ve been in five years.

And I have more energy than ever. I’m happier, I’m healthier.

I go in for blood work next month for my thyroid, and I’m excited to see what my numbers are going to look like.

However, not excited about allergist next week. These last two days without any allergy medicine are torture.


The Allergist Adventures: A Week Without Allergy Meds — Part 1


Good afternoon, fine folks!

I have a feeling this is going to turn into a series, so I’m designating this Part 1.

My referral to the allergist got sent in last Thursday from my primary doctor. I hadn’t heard from them for a few days, so I gave them a call. They were able to get me in for a new patient appointment on a cancellation.

So I’m going in next Thursday. I was advised to go to the website and fill out all the new patient paperwork, and look at the medications I need to avoid for the week prior to my appointment.

First form I find:


So… no allergy medication at all for a full week.

This is going to be SUPER FUN! (/sarcasm)


The Weirdly Creative Days

Good morning, fine folks!

This weekend was strangely productive, yet unproductive.

I didn’t do as much house cleaning as I normally do. I swept up my tumble weeds of cat hair, did dishes, and laundry… but I fully wanted to wipe down my baseboards this weekend, and it didn’t happen.

But I did engage in some creative projects.

… And played a lot of video games. I’ve really been trying to get into Dishonored, but it doesn’t seem to want to happen. Also, S.O. got my xbox one working without internet, so I was finally able to play Rise of the Tomb Raider — it was amazing and beautiful and I loved every second of it.

But I digress….

I had to tear out the afghan I was working on because the pattern wasn’t working out for me and I’m trying something different.


Nine skeins for $25 at Hobby Lobby.

So, these are the colors I’m working with. It’s primarily going to be the dark blue and teal with the shades of gray throughout. I haven’t taken any pictures of it yet.

I also reupholstered one of my bar stools. I got some really nice bar stools that swivel. The tops are pleather.

As some of you cat owners know: Pleather + Cats = bad juju.

When I moved into my new place, I didn’t have a bar, so I converted my bar stools into end tables:


Vesper has her high-beams on.

There’s one in the far corner. Note: the wall art was originally these really 80’s posters my aunt had given me. I discarded the posters and wrapped the cardboard support in fabric from Hobby Lobby.

When I finish using my bar stools as tables, or even before, I’m going to take the plywood tops, and paint a mural on them. Haven’t decide what kind of mural, but that’s the plan.

I’m trying to keep my living room in shades of blue, teal, gray, brown, cream, and gold.

I made my wall collage from different bits of odds and ends I have. The blow gun is from Peru that some missionary friends got for me for house sitting while they were away. The dream catcher I’ve had forever The empty picture frames I had since I was a child. The hat is from New Orleans. I painted the canvasses myself. Also, a silver spoon, though tarnished.


Forgive quality — took picture at night. 

But speaking of reupholstering — I love reupholstering, especially with upholstery nails. It gives it a vintage, well put together look. Like someone spent time on it instead of just using a staple gun.

When I reupholstered my bar stool, I went to pull the pleather off, and it was stuck on with a bazillion staples.

So I just wrapped the fabric over it.

It’s left over from the wall art project above, so it kind of matches the motif I have going on.

I’ve often done little projects from dumpster diving. One time, I fished out a table and two chairs. I sanded it down and restained it.

But I didn’t get a picture of the finished product before I sold it.

I do have a picture of the fabric I reupholstered the chair seats with:


Used duck cloth.

I did have a project I did that was a Pinterest win. I did a magnetic makeup board, which saves me tons of space in my bathroom, considering I have a super small counter.


I’d keep my more expensive make up products on the counter. I haven’t had anything fall and break (not much of a distance to fall), but you never know.

I took this picture when I first did this project in my old apartment, since then my counter space has shrunk drastically.

Also, I own way more lipstick and lip products now….

I may have a problem.

Like too much….

Which sucks because I haven’t been wearing a lot of makeup because my rosacea has been flared up and I don’t want to exacerbate it.

But now that it’s cleared up, my lipstick game is fierce.


The IRL Problem


Good morning, fine folks!

I come to you today with a conundrum.

A friend of mine IRL has an awesome blog I really, really want to follow. But I’m really trying to keep my blogging and my IRL-life kind of separate.

I mean, folks here, if you read regularly kind of sort of know where I am and my first name.

It’s not hard to extrapolate where/who I am from that.

But I have no one who knows me personally that’s on here.

I mean I talk about a lot of controversial issues, done best under the cover of quasi-anonymity. Also, I vent about things that happen in my life which may cause some folks in my life hard feelings. And yeah, I use pseudonyms, but it still makes it kind of awkward.

Anyone else deal with this?

Definitely want your input!


The Gravity of It All — Oh, Yeah, I Have an Autoimmune Disease


Good afternoon, fine folks!

I finally broke down, called my doctor, and requested a referral to an allergist. My boss recommended one particular doctor in town, so I asked the referral clerk for that specific location.

I’ve been on antibiotics for six days now, and mostly nada.

Still stuffy like whoa, still sniffling, little bit of cough and post nasal drip. And still, a lot of pressure.

So, I got to researching this allergist, and come to find out, he’s also an immunologist.

Then it kind of hit me.

I have an autoimmune disease.

Generally, anyone with Hashi’s, like I have, can have the disease managed by their primary/general physician. I get blood work every three to six months, and take levothyroxine every day. I don’t need to see an endo doctor, because well, it’s more specialist copays, more expensive tests, and for the same result — take levothyroxine until I die.

And I know if I miss my thyroid meds, then I’ll feel like ass all day.

But it doesn’t linger in my mind — I have an autoimmune disease.

I don’t think about it every day. I just do what I need to do to manage my health.

It’s genetic.

My body is eating an important component of my body — my thyroid.

It’s just the weird things you push to the back of your mind, then kind of hits you.

For those who aren’t familiar with Hashimoto’s Hypothyroidism, essentially it’s a life long condition where your body attacks and kills your thyroid. It is treated with hormone replacement, in the form of synthetic T4, which gets converted to T3 in the body.

Symptoms include:

  • Fatigue and sluggishness — I could literally sleep for 14-16 hours straight and still be tired.
  • Increased sensitivity to cold — I have perpetually cold fingers and toes.
  • Constipation — unfortunately, yep.
  • Pale, dry skin — yep
  • A puffy face — yep
  • Brittle nails — yep
  • Hair loss — I’ve always been a bad shedder, but I also have a lot of hair.
  • Enlargement of the tongue — yep.
  • Unexplained weight gain — story of my life.
  • Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness — yep.
  • Joint pain and stiffness — yep.
  • Muscle weakness — meh.
  • Excessive or prolonged menstrual bleeding (menorrhagia) — since I was 11.
  • Depression — this is why I take an SSRI. Also generalized anxiety disorder is almost always present.
  • Memory lapses — so much truth here.

Another thing not mentioned frequently, but I know enough folks who have low vitamin D and Hashi’s that it’s statistically significant.

When I finally got my awesome insurance, the first thing I said to my new doctor is that I need to lose weight, but it is very difficult for me to do so.

And she ordered blood work.

I was terrified she was going to say I had Type 2 diabetes — I was pushing 270lbs. I didn’t have a family history of it — I have one great aunt who had been over 300lbs for many years who had it. I’m pretty sure she had bariatric surgery, which really helped with Type 2. From what I understand, losing weight and managing with diet, is a way to “help” with Type 2.

My family history consists more of ass cancer (both sides), high blood pressure (maternal), congestive heart failure (both sides), skin cancer (paternal), and the whole body eating various important things (maternal).

As I’ve mentioned before, I had a cousin with lupus (a horrible autoimmune disease). Her sister has Hashi’s, our grandmother who has Hashi’s, and my mother who recently has been having weirdness with her T3 and T4 levels and is being monitored.


But suddenly, it just kind of hit me — I have a disease I’m going to have the rest of my life.

Not something I think about every day….

Kind of a side note — when looking for memes and/or funnies to add I came across an astounding amount of memes talking about how “don’t blame your thyroid; you’re just fat because you eat a bunch of bad shit.”

A) Eating bad shit will make you fat. Fat is not good. Fat is not healthy. Fat hurts your joints. Fat crowds your organs. Fat hurts metabolism. Sorry, I can’t sugar coat this, booboo. And, this is coming from a fat person who has struggled with their weight their whole life because…

B) I do have thyroid disease. It is diagnosed by an actual medical physician. So, if you are fat and using your “bum thyroid” as an excuse without consulting a physician and having the necessary tests with an ACTUAL diagnosis, you are doing a disservice to folks with ACTUAL thyroid disease by making it look like an excuse for being fat instead of an actual disease.

C) If you feel you have thyroid disease, please consult with your doctor and have the necessary confirmatory testing done.


The News of the Day — And Another Shooting by an Extremist


Well, it appears there was another mass shooting today.

Someone shot up a bunch of Republican congressmen as they were practicing for a baseball game, where opposing sides of the aisle would come together and play. This has been going on since 1909. It is meant as a symbolic bipartisan event.

I’m very happy it wasn’t as horrible as it could have been; the shooter is dead. But this type of thing always brings about new and interesting (read: stupid knee jerk emotionalism).

And I’m not saying it isn’t something to be sad about… because it is. Actual human beings were targeted and almost murdered.

I took a look at the shooter’s Facebook page, after they released his name.

And I can say, without doubt, extremism comes in all shapes, forms, and flavors, but at the end of the day, it leads to this type of violence.

You’re reading this, so obviously, you want my $.02:

We need to better tend our mentally ill people. We need to be a better, more supportive community.

From what I saw on the shooter’s FB page, I can tell the internet “radicalized” him — as screen capped above. It was pretty obvious.

But not everyone who is on the internet becomes so entrenched in extremist rhetoric.

Some groups… some people are more susceptible than others.

I read an ELI5 post (explain like I’m five) about why people join terrorist/extremist organizations such as ISIS, Boko Haram, Al Qaeda, or even White Supremist or Antifa (on the homefront):


There is a lot of camaraderie in being part of something — during the election I watched people in particular parts of the political spectrum exclude people on the opposite end from social events or friend groups. Hell, I watched two girls who were best friends for 15 years come to blows over goddamn politics.

People want to think they are right — and when logic fails, they move to what feels “emotionally” right. Emotions don’t follow the same rules as logic.

Logically, it seems unethical and amoral and plain evil to shoot up a bunch of people.

But people don’t do logic — they do knee jerk emotionalism. Go on Facebook trending and see folks’ commentaries about the shooting.

It’s disgusting and ridiculous — people are too wrapped up in their political ideologies to see the truth of it.

Someone shot up a bunch of people.

Someone tried to murder them.

They are human being and this morning their lives came very close to ending. None of the people there are ever going to be the same.

But they get this vitriol and disdain instead because they’re congressmen. Republican congressmen.

Not human beings, of course, as some people seem inclined to believe.

Because people disagree with their politics, of course.

It’s like, because they don’t have the same politics as you they suddenly become not human.

I’ve seen it on the macro and micro level.

Again, I feel like Fry in “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid.” I try to be a political atheist — or a libertarian if you will. With a lot of issues, stepping aside and looking at it from an outside perspective gives people a different insight to the going ons of a thing.

Folks are too entrenched in politics to see what they are doing. People who disagree are suddenly dehumanized, made into a pariah, worth nothing.

And it happens on both sides of the spectrum.


Folks, we have come so far as a people to be divided and brought down by this bullshit. We should be uniting and compromising to make a better society. Instead of bitching about politics, and becoming engrossed in this ideology, becoming radicalized (if you will), go out and do something good for your community. Actually interact with people, face to face.

It seems that when there’s a computer screen between people, we lose sight of each other — it’s just words, or pictures of people we don’t know or haven’t seen in person. If that’s all we do, we lose sight that these are actual living, breathing human beings.

My prayers and thoughts to the victims and their families — I hope for a speedy recovery.


The Keto Diaries — How to eat healthy: 40 Foods No One Should Eat…Ever — The Purple Almond

This is a long post, so I won’t preface it with a lot of superfluous words. As you can see by the source list at the bottom of the page, I’ve searched several lists of foods to avoid, and come up with this list of 40 foods, which includes the “dirty dozen” and a list […]

via How to eat healthy: 40 Foods No One Should Eat…Ever — The Purple Almond

I wanted to share this really awesome post from Tamara.

Going keto has made me very conscious of what I’m putting into my body. This is an awesome list of things to avoid, some of which I wasn’t even aware of.


The Uncomfortable Life Truths


We all have this fantasy at one point or another where some giant wondrous thing is going to swoop in and save us from life, insecurities, other people, love, money… and then happily ever after happens.

And it’s just not going to happen.

I’ve often wondered what happens to the Disney Princesses after they find whatever it is that makes them live happily ever after — man, freedom, self actualization, etc…

When they find their dream partner/lover, do they ever bicker about each other’s farts, or how long they take in the bathroom, whose paying, whose doing the dishes, why did they track mud in, money…

I find, especially with millennials, because we were raised on this idea of happily ever after that we just expect things. We don’t have to work for them.

We feel that some wonderful serendipitous thing is going to happen and all will be well and you needn’t worry about anything ever.


Sorry, love. Doesn’t work that way.

Some truths I’ve learned along the way, which help me understand why happily ever after isn’t a thing:

  1. No one loves you more than you — take care of yourself. You only have one life to live — live it well, and fill it with nourishment. You have control of what you put in, both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
  2. Everyone has their own interests and agenda — most of the time it is innocent, like a few laughs, companionship… or it can be downright odious. Protect yourself.
  3. Trust no one. Ever. But it doesn’t excuse you from being respectful and kind. There are people in this world I despise, but if they call to me needing genuine help, I will be there.
  4. No one is going to stick up for you but you.
  5. You, and everyone you know and love is going to die.
  6. You cannot please everyone. Don’t deplete yourself to do so.
  7. Even if people are shitty to you, still treat them with kindness and respect.
  8. “No” is the most amazing word in existence. Use it.
  9. It’s okay to agree to disagree. You don’t have to go overboard with your disagreement and you can still love and care about them.
  10. Sometimes, you have to let people go. And it hurts, but sometimes it’s for the best.


The Hair Cut Adventure

Good afternoon, fine folks!

I’ve been trying to grow out my pixie cut.

Like real hard I’ve been avoiding the salon like it’s on fire. But my ends are kind of crispy feeling and my hair needs to be thinned before the heat of Florida summer kicks in and I get really desperate and shave the whole damn thing off.

But dammit!

It is driving me crazy!

One side, I love. It is perfect all the time. It is on the side of my head where the bulk of my hair is.

It’s glorious and curly and perfect.

Except for the very front. My hair has a completely different texture at the front.

Everything but the very front has Keri Russel curls — back when she wore her hair curly.

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The front of my head has much tighter — It has more of a Samuel L. Jackson circa Pulp Fiction Jheri Curl feel to it


And what’s super weird is that as the hair grows out, the first three inches have the Sam Jackson Jheri Curl, then the curls loosen to the Keri Russel curl.

So yeah, my hair is growing out and it’s driving me crazy.

It doesn’t help that it’s been like 100000000% humidity outside.

Yay Florida!


My hair is chin length now. Though, you can’t tell because it curls up.

So, I’m thinking of going asymmetrical and keeping it chin length on the good side aka the side of my part where most of my hair is, then taking it super short on the other side. Like #8 clippers.

Then kind of gradient it back in to where it is still chin length on one side.

In my head it’s going to look something like this:


But just a bit longer on the “longer side”…. like 2-3 inches longer.

I’m going to go this afternoon when I get off and get it done.

You’ll either hear it’s the best thing ever or the worst thing ever.

But I mean, I’ve kind of done it before:


But shorter on the short side and longer on the long side… if that makes sense.


Will let you guys know!


The Keto Diaries — Frittata!!!


Good morning fine folks!

Spent this weekend recovering from my nasty sinus infection. S.O. came down to take care of me and we made the most amazing asparagus and sausage frittata.

What you’ll need:

  • 12ish asparagus spears, chopped to 1″ pieces.
  • Sausage — any kind. We used Andy’s hot smoked sausage. About 1.5 cups
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • 9ish eggs
  • Mushrooms — any kind. About 1 cup.
  • Green onions — three spears or so. Chopped up
  • Salt, pepper, and other seasonings you want. I used fresh basil and oregano with salt and cracked pepper
  • Parm cheese — or whatever you have on hand. White or regular cheddar would definitely work.
  • 9X9 baking dish

What you’ll do:

Throw all your chopped veggies, meat, and cheese into your baking dish. In a separate bowl, crack your eggs and add almond milk and seasonings. Scramble up. Pour over veggies, meat, and cheese. Stir up a little to make sure everything is evenly distributed.

Bake on 375 for 40ish minutes. Stick a butter knife or tooth pick in to see if done.

Definitely something I will make again. S.O. and I cleaned out the whole baking dish. I ate mine with a little bit of spicy mustard, but sriracha will work too.

Also, can be made in muffin tins.


The Keto Diaries — Same Five Damn Pounds


Good morning, fine folks.

Still kind of sickly. Going to the doctor tomorrow and getting some feel-better meds.

But I figured I’d do a keto update.

I’ve been going strong for 10 days now, after my two week break, and finally had the courage to weigh in. I have lost one pound since I weighed in at my doctor’s office on 5/12. Which isn’t bad considering I was, well… bad, for two weeks.

But then I stepped on the scale this morning, and I gained four pounds over night.

Alas, I think this is a woman thing.

Different parts of the day, your weight will vary and fluctuate depending on food and fluid intake, and output.

But I feel like I just keep losing and gaining the same damn five pounds.

I will keep on keeping on.

Last night I wanted super simple, so I chopped up an avocado and a roma tomato, drizzled with lemon juice, salt/pepper, and threw in some green olives.

It was so yummy.

Today’s menu consists of Bullet Proof Coffee and two avocados (they are ripe and need to be eaten before they go bad)…. then when I get home I’ll figure out dinner. I have some boneless, skinless chicken thighs, spinach, and bacon in the freezer. I’m thinking spinach stuffed cheesy bacon wrapped chicken thighs.

Oh yeah!