The Unconditional Love

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My nana may die soon. And that thought rips me apart.

My Nana Lynda is singularly the strongest person I know. In 1994, my nana got an ostomy after going through colon cancer. She’s had this ostomy for 22 years.

This year, after having to have her prolapsed bladder and lady parts fixed, her health really started to deteriorate.

She’s back in the hospital with an infection in her guts from the pelvic mesh they had to put in to keep her insides together after they had to take a lot of them out.

And I’m so beside myself that I cant be there with her right now. My Nana Lynda is my favorite person on the entire planet.

I’m going to be there for New Years.

I found out yesterday she was back in the hospital when I called her cell phone and told her I might not make it because I needed the money and couldn’t take days off. Then I found out a.) that January 2nd is a holiday and b.) she’s back in the hospital.

And I just really didn’t want to travel this holiday season.

Last year, I went to Daytona for Thanksgiving and Atlanta for Christmas. By the end of it, I was sick, tired, and broke.

So, this year, I vowed not to travel.

S.O. and I spent the Thanksgiving at my place, with my two cats. I made a small turkey for us, some sides, and he brought dessert.

And, I had no one judging me for being in my pajamas all day.

Family get togethers have never been my cup of tea. My family on the best of days is unbearable and on the worst is down right hateful.

The last time I went and saw my family, I stayed in my mom’s guest room. The Monday I left, I went to my aunt’s salon and got my hair cut. When I got back my mother had went through all my stuff and packed my bags claiming that she was “cleaning the house” and that my “slobbery wasn’t welcome here.”

I literally had a pile of dirty clothes on the floor, separated from my clean clothes in my luggage case.

That was it.

And I’m a grown person. I’m almost 30 and I am a guest.

That is completely unacceptable.

I haven’t spoken to my mother in four months.

AND, because my family is a bunch of smokers, I always come back sick. Never fails.

So, I’m dragging S.O. with me as a buffer.

Hopefully he can get the time off. His boss is a stickler about that even though he has TWO MONTHS of accrued PTO.

 

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