The 32 Ounces of Water


Lady parts and lady problems. Ye be warned.

I am a masochist.

I usually like to get my medical stuff tended to in the early morning. For bloodwork, I usually have to fast, so I opt to do it early in the morning and grab breakfast afterwards on the way into work.

But this is a whole other ballpark.

I have to get a transvaginal ultrasound this morning to check and see if there are actually dementors in my uterus.

Okay. That’s dramatic.

Just want to see if there are structural abnormalities that A) would make IUD insertion complicated and B) if those abnormalities are are making my periods nightmarish.

And now, I’m sitting here… a full hour before I usually wake up, trying to down 32 ounces of water and not throw up.

Evidently I have to have a full bladder.

My rationale was to just not pee, but according to the all knowing lady on the other end of the phone, that doesnt work and I just need to pee, then try to drink 32 ounces of water.

I’m about 10 in and fuck my life.

I wanna go back to bed… where it’s warm.

Update: It was just as horrible as I thought it would be. I can’t believe I scheduled it in the morning. I can’t believe I did that sober. I’m just gonna have this disgruntled look on my face all damn day.

And the ultrasound tech told me I should have just held my morning pee.



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