The Sanctimonious Asshats Who Lose Friends and Respect Because of their Sanctimonious Asshattery


This was my witty post I had planned for yesterday but got side tracked because I was being nose raped by flowers.

But anyways….

The gist of this post makes my libertarian heart sing.

I am so very sick and tired of folks giving unsolicited advice — both on a macro and micro level. Telling you what you should do with your body, how you should live, what you should do with your life, what you should do with your money, etc…

Correction, not “should”, “need”.

And if you don’t take this macro or micro level unsolicited advice, you are suddenly a horrible person and the scum of the earth deserving to have Satan shove pineapples up your rectum for all of eternity.

Micro level: having a random work acquaintance overhear my conversation and provide medical advice without presenting credentials stating they are licensed or doctored in the medical field.

“You NEED to be on a maintenance allergy medicine”

No shit, Sherlock.

A.) you are not a part of this conversation.

B.) you are not a medical professional

C.) you are not a person in my life allowed to tell me how to live my life.

And you wonder why you have to butt into conversations — because no one will talk with you.

You, madam, are a sanctimonious asshat.

When giving advice to folks, I always use the identifier “should” and/or ask for permission.

And this is micro level stuff.

Just random people in your life telling you what you need to do. Not because it’s in your best interest, not because they know you, and not because they love you.

Or maybe it is.

But suddenly you are a bad person worthy of scorn for wanting to be in control of your own body?

And it gets worse on the macro level.

Now, obviously, there are societal rules and norms in place to ensure society doesn’t crumble to pieces and we unconsciously enter into this social contract and blah blah woof woof.

It’s pretty simple — don’t murder, don’t rape, don’t steal, respect your neighbor, don’t be an asshole, don’t hurt people, don’t hurt animals (unless humanely killing for food; I’m a carnivore whatever. I like my meat to be dead when I eat it), don’t fuck up someone else’s property, and don’t directly endanger folks.

This is simple.

“Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.”

Murphy — Boondock Saints

So, aside from legal shit, there’s still folks telling you how to live your life. And with the elections it’s become “you have to believe what I believe or you are a **insert horrible human being synonym**”

No. You don’t.

This post idea popped in my head when my friend, who was pregnant at the time with her first son, shared an editorial from Scary Mommy on FB about how all women should be worried that their unborn and infant sons are going to grow up and be rapists.

I can’t make this shit up.

I mean, if you are worried about your kid being a fuckwad and they’re not even born, you need to chill. And if they are born, don’t raise them to be fuckwads.

Not rocket science.

And I mean, it’s not her fault. She’s a first time mom having a baby boy and she has his whole future to worry about. Plus pregnancy hormones and the stress of carrying a baby, delivering said baby, and raising said kid.

And suddenly, women who don’t worry about their infant sons becoming rapists are horrible people.

And, I mean, I’m not a parent — I don’t know their struggles. But I’m a person with more than two brain cells and common sense and that’s just fucking nonsensical.

Evidently, it’s a phenomenon called Sanctimommy. For instance:


I can’t make this shit up.

The idea of other people telling me how to raise my kid when I don’t even have kids yet makes me not want to reproduce.

Seriously — I mean I’m not perfect by any means. But I feel I turned out okay. My mom totally smoked weed when she was pregnant with me and I have an above average IQ, never been to jail, hold a steady job, and have good relationships.

I honestly consider myself more well adjusted than some of the folks whose parents didn’t let them drink soda, breastfed, etc….

And politics — if you support Trump you are worthy of the fires of hell. If you supported Clinton you are an idiot and ignorant. If you are pro-life, you hate women and are evil. If you are pro-choice, you hate babies and are evil.

It’s to the point people don’t know who to be because everyone else is telling them how to be and if they aren’t that way they are horrible.

No wonder so many people have so many social and ethical hang ups.

Everyone is letting folks tell them what to do with their life instead of figuring it out for themselves and learning. And if they are that free thinker, suddenly they’re stupid, evil, uneducated, sadistic, fascist, racist, amoral, unethical, etc…. All those bad identifiers.

And these people, who aren’t conforming to what all these strangers are telling them to do have this anxiety about being associated with “all those bad identifiers.”

Now, I’m not saying go on a murder spree.

Because seriously… don’t.

Why cant folks just let other folks be?





11 thoughts on “The Sanctimonious Asshats Who Lose Friends and Respect Because of their Sanctimonious Asshattery

  1. I’m so glad you wrote this, Carolanne. 🙂
    A while ago I wrote about being a ‘neutralist’ (amongst other things) and I believe it’s not fence-sitting so much as saying “mind your own business” to certain individuals, whilst largely leaving others alone.

    Wise ancients from millennia ago had plenty of things to say about sanctimoniousness… which goes to prove that some aspects of humanity don’t change.

    Anyway… well said. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I tend to be well-informed about random-ass shit, and I looooove doing research. I try to always ask before just throwing advice at people. moreover, I use terms like “could look into” or “X might help” and “maybe this”. I don’t know the exact situation of the person to whom I’m speaking, so I won’t pretend to. I just impart upon them when requested what literature and evidence recommend as paths. and even then, the person in question may happen to be an exception to the rule, so said path may not work for them at all.

    and when people give unsolicited advice to me, I just let them talk and imagine a unicorn shitting rainbows is standing in their place. it works for me. ::shrugs::
    ^an example of how I may give advice, lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • Same here. I generally always ask permission. However, as I’m sure you have felt as a fellow INTP, is that when someone you know and care about is venting about a problem and you don’t know if they are venting or seeking advice. And you’re over here like “well, X will solve your problem.” But you are unsure if it’s your place to say so… or that may be just a “me” thing

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post! I know all too well about assholes trying to put their two cents in and ruin your day. Shoving their so called great advice down your throat. What is worse is when people spout hypocritical advice, they tell you to follow their advice like you need to find some more goals, or be more active etc but they don’t do any of it themselves. Sometimes when people I know very well try and call me on my shit, I point them to the mirror. Like if you want to get up all in my business and pretend to be my role model, perhaps you should be setting a better example yourself.

    I try to not give advice a lot of the time, unless they ask for it. Then I try to just give the best opinion I can from either self experience or like this is what I would do if I was in your position. Other than that I am a great listener and try to just be there for support. When giving advice I also try to like not give too much advice, because giving advice can totally back fire on you. Like a person asks for advice, you share yours and then when they willingly and choose to follow the advice given, they get all mad at you if it doesn’t work out.

    People need to chill. When I read “All women should worry about their unborn sons and infants are going to grow up to be rapists” was like a face palm moment. Some shit that people come up with just baffles me and leaves me speechless.

    Thanks for the great read 🙂


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