Please excuse me while I have hormonal related breakdown; normally I can keep my shit together, but my body, my brain is sabotaging me.
I cried at work today over betrayal and goddamn voicemails.
And I couldn’t stop myself.
I was once accused of using “that crying shit” as a tool of manipulation by The Abuser.
It’s literally something I cannot control.
It just happens.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
Evidently because I surround myself with people who seem like decent people, then suddenly treat me like shit makes me wonder if I’m a shitty person who masquerades as a decent person.
Maybe I really do deserve this.
And I know I’m loved. I think. Maybe.
Or maybe people just tolerate me until they find something better or finally tire of me.
Everyone can’t be shitty — maybe it’s me?