The Female Misogynist 

First, I want to apologize. I know I’ve been bitching a lot about work lately, but it’s really exacerbating my anxiety disorder; I started this blog as a means to get these thoughts out of my head so I wont fixate. Also, I spend most of my waking hours at work and see my coworkers more than I see S.O.

Unfortunately, its a part of my life.

I also had a scary panic attack this evening. Usually when I’m busy at work I can put it out of my mind and focus on the task at hand. But, in the evenings when I’m trying to wind down it creeps in, holds tight, and won’t go.

My panic attack was essentially my disappointment in myself for investing in a marginal person and getting burned, worried that I will spend life with sparce companionship, and if my worklife was going to be plagued by these bitchy women.

I got curious about other folk’s experience and HOLY CRAP! The bitchy office females is a seriously ubiquitous thing.

It got me thinking — what if it isn’t “the patriarchy” oppressing women in the work place? What if it is other women?

Now, I don’t identify as a feminist — not third wave feminism anyway. I am an equalist and a utilitarian. I believe everyone should have basic human right regardless of race, age, sex, handicap, etc… up and until your rights impinge on someone else’s rights. For instance, you can have freedom of religion — unless a part of your religion involves owning slaves or murdering people.

I’m very libertarian about this sort of thing..

But back on track — most women I see in the workplace are bringing other women down, instead of empowering each other. They are easy to jealousy, pettiness, backbiting, gaslighting…. and all for what?

One of the videos I watched was a TED talk about this problem and the solution was to change how women are spoken to and interacted with in the workplace. And it was downright archaic — you have to pad your sentences to ease the blow, you have to collect favors, you have to coddle them.

For instance — padding sentences:

Hey, I’m really confused about this, but you really suck at your job and you can go eat a dick and die, okay?

See… this is the shit… the shit why men don’t take women seriously. Men are straight forward about their dialogue. But for women you have to sugar coat everything.

What purpose does this serve?

It wastes time, energy, paper…

All it does is create a hostile work environment and reduce productivity. After the “incident” on goddamn Tuesday, I couldn’t focus. I spent an hour trying to get myself together. Then I spent 30 minutes talking with my boss about it.

An hour and a half….

I could have been doing work but someone wanted to engage in some female workplace cunthattery.

In the long run, said catty behaviors cause productivity loss and high turnover.

So, why is it tolerated?

I hear the often cliche “if a man is successful, he is hard working; if is because she’s a bitch.”

In my experience, cliches and tropes are cliches and tropes for a reason.

So, my analytical INTP brain kicked in and now I want to conduct a micro study of workplace bitchiness to isolate variables and figure out what are the nacent triggers that cause workplace bitchiness to become a thing — feeling threatend, jealousy, etc… and why women feel the need to act negatively.

And folks, this why I cant sleep.

I’m research planning in my head.

But back to the panic attack — I think that was the worse one I’ve had in a while. My blood pressure shot up, my pulse was 130, hot flashes, muscle twitches, dizziness.

I wish my doctor would give me some xanax or klonopin for these kinds of nights…. but nooooo… other folks have to ruin it with their drugginess and selling of drugs.

I’m good now. Two benadryl and a muscle relaxer.

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5 thoughts on “The Female Misogynist 

  1. I have to agree when you say – it’s not the men but women who are bringing their fellow colleagues down.

    I’ve had many instances in my life to back your sentence. Is it only women or is it generally human mind that cannot take another person’s achievement with grace? I’ve had friends (girls) who were extremely dominant and once I started to resist their plans and began having counter opinions – snap! Our friendship went boom boom where I got to experience some ugly sides of a human brain.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Agreed. This is why I prefer male friends to female friends. I have one good female friend, the rest are guys.

        And in a way, it’s sad. Why cant women support each other more and be glad of other’s accomplishments. I’ve even gotten it from my mom and grandmother. My dad, however, is proud of all I’ve accomplished. But my mom calls me self righteous, and my grandma nit picks my little flaws (she told me I needed to take my tax return money and get three moles on my face removed lol) And I’m like, “hahahaha no…. I’m getting an xbox one and the new Mass Effect lol”.

        It seems like women cant be happy for each other — maybe it’s insecurity or jealousy?

        Thanks for the reply! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one going through this..

        Like

  2. So, my analytical INTP brain kicked in and now I want to conduct a micro study of workplace bitchiness to isolate variables and figure out what are the nacent triggers that cause workplace bitchiness to become a thing […]

    omg, this^. seriously, I would love to assist in that experiment. most of my friends are male because there’s less back-stabbing and double-talk among men than women. and I really can’t handle when ladies get cray-cray.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Right. LOL. I just can’t deal with female bullying in the workplace. I’ve actually been doing some research about female on female workplace bullying and the statistics are crazy. Evidently men bully more (I haven’t experienced because most of my jobs have been female dominated) and are pretty nonbiased when it comes to the gender of their target. However, female bullies 70% of the time will bully other females. Crazy. Whatever happened to this “girl power” feminist crap. At this point, I’m convinced that it’s women keeping other women down, not the “patriarchy”. And this is just from my experience. I mean, the typical things you hear about the “wage gap” I haven’t experienced. I make more money than S.O. and all of my female friends make more than their male counterparts. I’ve been treated with nothing but courtesy and kindness by my male coworkers and bosses (those few and far between). Maybe it’s a regional thing — I mean, I live in the south and it’s kind of expected for men to hold doors for women and be polite to women…. But it’s different with female bosses and coworkers. Instead of confronting issues on a one on one basis, they will do this backbiting, passive aggressive thing. And I’m just not that person. If I have a problem with someone, I will go to that person. I have enough respect for that person to not go behind their backs. I just don’t get it — it’s non productive, creates turnover, hostile work environments. I’ve had to audio record goings on in my office and play to the supervisor because she didn’t believe me. I now document everything going on in my office.

      Liked by 1 person

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