The Backlash from Criticizing Feminism — Seeing RED 

Hey Guys! I wanted to share this from beautybeyondbones about the backlash of a post she made where she had offered a bit of a critique on feminism. I felt her words to be incredibly impactful. And as a woman who isn’t part of this third wave feminism movement, it opens you up to a lot criticism, particularly from other women.



*sigh* This post is going to be difficult to write.


The saying goes, never judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes…or something like that.

And I’ve learned over the years that as much as I hate those cliched little nuggets, they actually hold a lot of truth. Stand the test of time.

I’ve been wanting to respond to my recent post on Feminism for a while now. It garnered quite the diverse feedback. And I appreciate that so much. One of the cool things about an online community like this is that people bring with them all their experiences and perspectives. We all are on different journeys, and I sincerely enjoy learning and listening to every person.


After that last post, there were numerous reflections that took offense at my statements about motherhood:

The very essence of being female is the ability to bear children…

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The Crapsack World — Tropes Thursday


Bring on the existential dread for this one.

What I’ve read about the crapsack world is that you can only really see how bad it is when taking an outside perspective instead of being directly immersed and in the moment.

And I’ve felt that way all week.

I took a step back and allowed for some introspection, and we truly live in a crapsack world.

On a Macro level, we’re totally outraged about corrupt politicians until one of the Kardashians shows her twat and then everybody forgets. We don’t care about people dying overseas from warfare and starvation. We don’t care about females in the third world, who have real and actual problems arising out of true sexism including being denied education, forced marriage, FGM,… but we are worried about a man having his legs slightly open on the subway so as to not crush his testicles. There are more negative things publicized than positive things because positive things don’t sell. Drug companies would rather treat a disease than cure it, because profit. People being executed for believing differently than someone else.

And I could go on with all the fucked up, large scale things in this world.

But we know they exist.

On a micro level, I’m probably going to be stuck working with a bunch of bitches at a job I moderately like making just enough money to get by for the rest of my life.

And that thought is bleak…

But people are still try to be positive through all this crap. Without a little bit of positivity, we wouldn’t know how shitty everything is. It would just be. Without evil, there wouldn’t be any good. Without dark, no light.

It’s all about perception.

So, through all this, I will try to be positive. Because at the end of the day, that’s all I have to keep this truly cliche soul crushing negativity from overwhelming me.

It’s difficult, though, when those positive things are fleeting. You have to appreciate them for what they are when they happen, but when it changes, move on and try to find that happy thing again.



The Fact I’m Standing at the Fax Machine Offends People



It’s been a long week.

It’s only Wednesday.

I’m over this work drama thing.

I got told today, by one of my coworkers, that the two other problematic coworkers were tracking my comings and goings.

I can’t make this shit up.

Evidently they are trying to catch me going over my breaks.

See… we work in a little bento box of offices separate from the rest of our division because that how the space issues work out.

I have lots of things I have to do, like mailing stuff, filling orders, getting supplies and educational materials, talking to other folks about work related things, going pee (I drink a lot of coffee and water), and other things requiring me to walk out the door to our little bento box,  least of all taking my two daily allotted breaks — these two problematic coworkers think I’m “taking too many breaks” or “getting up too much.”

Every time I walk to the fax machine, one of the problematic coworkers slams her door when she sees me there. She’s actually papered up her door so her person is not visible from the fax machine.

Again, I can’t make this shit up.

In addition, they are tracking my workload to make sure I’m doing my job. Which our system doesn’t work that way and they are full of shit as the day is long. But evidently the newer problematic coworker “figured it out.”

Dude… I just sit in my office and do my job. And I fucking do my job well. I keep my door closed. I’m polite to everyone. At our last staff meeting, one of them brought up how “you don’t do that many cases” and “I found this case that you did this wrong on.”

Okay. Bring it to my attention and I will fix it. Instead she sent it to my other other coworker who sent it to me and said fix it.

And I fixed it.

I am the first one to admit I fucked up and offer to fix it — in my mind, it makes sense. If I didn’t fuck up, then I didn’t fuck up and I won’t take responsibility for it. I catch everyone else’s fuck ups all the time and instead of calling them out at a staff meeting, If it’s not something easily overlooked or will take me longer to fix it than telling the person — I will email the person and CC my supervisor. Not call someone out on a supposed mistake that happened a month ago that you cannot produce documentation I made said mistake. And if you had, I would have probably said “Shit. I’m sorry. Let me fix that. Email me the details.”

I don’t need this shit.

How about, instead of keeping track of what I’m doing, do your own job.

And it’s not just me, either.

The coworker who filled me in on this fuckshit cunthattery is being “tracked” too. She had to take a personal call related to a custody hearing for her son — serious business — and had to step outside. One of the problematic coworkers said, “I thought you just took your break and you’re taking another one.”

This is so fucking stupid.

And maybe a little racist — their part, not mine. I don’t care what color you are. Shitty person = shitty person.

And what makes it even more laughable and fucking stupid is that both are very outspokenly religious, and ya’ll know how I feel about that. 

I’ve been treated the worst in my life by people who are extremely outspokenly religious.

I can’t today.

Also hormones because my body hates me.

I know this sounds weird — but my theory behind it all is that because we all are female and work in the same office space and use the same bathrooms all our cycles have synced up and all this fuckshit cunthattery happens when everyone is on their period and the ability to handle work stress with poise and rationality has gone down the drain.

I hate working with other women.




The Catch-Me-Up Calamity


Playing catch-me-up after being laid up with a migraine yesterday.

S.O. has me addicted to playing Oblivion. There are two good things that have come of that.

  1. I’ve stopped chewing my nails because I have something to do with my hands.
  2. Speaking of oral fixations, not stuffing my face out of boredom.

Now, I’m back at work playing catch me up from missing yesterday — and my list is huge.

Also, I just found out that the position I was talking about in The Employment Grievance is going to open back up — heard down the grape vine dude put in his two weeks yesterday. Hopefully with a new supervisor, I’ll have better luck attaining said position.

Keep your fingers and toes crossed!


The Keto Diaries — First Scale Victory

I talk a lot about going keto and completely overhauling the way I live and eat.

But I dont get into the “why” of it.

Guys, my ass is fat.

And not just a vanity kind of fat, but detrimental to my health fat.

Two years ago, I went to the eye doctor to get some new spectacles. And this wasn’t my first rodeo. But he kept shining the light in my eyes far longer than I’m used to and finally I asked what’s wrong.

“Do you get migraines?”

“Sensitive to light?”

Yes and yes.

“Your optical nerve is swollen.”

Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertension.

Essentially my fatness was putting pressure on my spine, pushing cerebral spinal fluid in my brain and increasing pressure.

I’d done the standard western diet of whole grains, low fat, veggies and fruits. Plenty of exercise.


Around the same time I got diagnosed with Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism.

Which is why I couldn’t lose weight.

Fast forward a year and a half after medical management of my bum thyroid — my levels are perfect and this is when I decided to start keto.

Seven weeks later I’m down 18 lbs and this is the first time in five years the scale said I was under 250.

So much happiness.

Now I’m going to go eat a pound of bacon 🙂


The Employment Grievance


Well, it’s Friday… and ya’ll get two in one day. Mostly because I’m bored and also I just need to write a bit to get out of this weird headspace.

So, back in April of last year, the data analyst position opened up within my unit. When I had originally applied and interviewed for a job with this unit, I interviewed for the data analyst position and lost out by one point to the person who had recently vacated the position. But, they liked me so much that they offered me this job, which is $5 less an hour, but at that point I just needed a job.

So, when the previous data analyst left, I immediately put in my application. And because of the agency I worked for and changes in HR and management, they were holding off on the hiring process.


So, finally it came time to interview. It was between myself and one other candidate. The day of the interview, my boss (who isn’t here anymore) emailed me to cancel interview.


Evidently the other candidate got a different job.

And then magically the degree qualifications changed and I was “no longer qualified”.

And it’s not like this is high level data analysis with actual data collection, linear regression, crosstabs, and chi square tests — this is MS Excel and making graphs.

But my background in higher level criminological data analysis was not good enough.

In addition to my background in graphic design, writing, journalism, editing, legal stuff, data analysis, health care, call center, marketing, and vendor experience… willingness to learn new things, embrace changes, and stick-to-it-ness is  just not good enough.

What utter bullshit.

I was beyond livid.

Was I too ambitious? Did I reach too high?

It became obvious, that even though my work was impeccable and I was a fast learner and already doing half of the data analyst job anyways because the position was vacant for the last five months and there was still shit needing to be done, I was not qualified anymore.

More likely, I wasn’t wanted. And I would have rather been told that than this passive aggressive pussyfooting.

Also, because I’d have a lawsuit or a good HR complaint.

And I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with. As I’ve said many times, I’m very INTP, kind of awkward and very logic based.

Folks in the workplace evidently don’t like that.

So, this other dude was hired.

And he keeps fucking up; it makes me both simultaneously chuckle and say “I told you so” and want to pull my hair out because I have to fix his shit.

I’ve been applying to other positions — and what seriously bothers me about the job market is that they ask for an obscene amount of experience and a degree, employers only want to pay $20k-ish per year.

Are people not trained how to do jobs anymore?

And for higher level jobs, they already want you to have experience in a thing that only takes a day or two to learn (purchasing systems, payroll systems, travel systems).

But because you have all these excellent qualifications, but don’t know this one thing that takes a day to learn, you don’t get the job.


Im’ma start my own place of employment… with blackjack… and hookers.



The Friday Flashback — Hey! Homeless Adventure!


Facebook casually reminded me that this week started my homeless adventure back in 2012!


I will admit, even though this was the hardest time in my life, I learned so much about myself, what I’m willing to go through and accept as well as showed me how people really are.

And in a complete opposite direction, something beautiful.


My beautiful patio garden at my old apartment last year. Sadly, the only things that lived through the summer were my aloe and my tulips are sprouting after I thought they had died.

I still haven’t figured out the herb garden thing. I have some basil growing because I love flat leaf basil…


The Keto Diaries — Cheese stuffed EVERYTHING with Bacon on Top


Well hello, fine people!

Going to pause Tropes Thursday because I just haven’t had any inspiration and feeling a little on the crappy side — mostly allergies.

I did get my new night guard from the special TMJ dentist and I actually prefer the night guard to my own teeth.

Weird, huh?

I wore it all last night after getting home from work, while playing Oblivion. According to S.O. I MUST play Oblivion before Skyrim. Even though it was made in 2006, it is still absolutely friggin gorgeous.


Four hours of xboxing later, and I love my new mouth guard.

So, still kind of plateaued with my keto journey — I’m blaming PMS this week. Fun times.

But I have a new favorite, easy thing that I love.

Deconstructed burgers.

I usually buy ground turkey, but I splurged on beef. What I did, was I cooked up some bacon — because bacon is amazing. Then I made my burgers, with egg and pork rinds to hold it together. Stuffed a cube of cheese in there; I used Vermont cheddar. And then I cooked those suckers in the bacon fat.

Decadently artery clogging, right!

But, very keto friendly — and if you follow keto right, not so much with the artery clogging.

I fried an egg and threw it on top.

Ate on a bed of kale with some tomato slices.

Like 5 net carbs — mostly because tomato and kale. But you gotta have fiber! Because pooping is awesome!

I might throw on some sauteed mushrooms next time.

I’ve been doing a lot of medical research on the keto lifestyle and how your body processes glucose versus ketones. Did you know that a keto diet is recommended for people who have epilepsy because ketones are better fuel source for the brain?

Awesome right!

Also, and this is mostly anecdotal (I asked on reddit), but keto really helps people with their emotional and mental wellbeing. Lots of people who are on SSRI’s and other antipsychotics show improvement on this diet. I’m really digging it because in spite of my SSRI making my sex drive like -13, I can feel it picking back up.




The Confused Girl — Why Do People Feel the Need to Talk on the Phone All the Time


We live in a time of connectedness that has never been experienced by any other time in the history of humanity. We can connect with people continents away, in different time zones… hell… not even on our planet (ISS). It is a privilege to be able to harness the power of technology and communicate with people as we do now… to communicate by voice, photograph, or video across vast distances.

But… I’m an introvert.

I already have to talk on the phone all day for work.

On my off times, I don’t feel the need to be in constant communication with people. Sometimes, I’m secretly glad when my phone runs out of air time and I’m without a phone for four or five days until I’m able to refill service. Sometimes, I don’t check my mail for weeks at a time. Same with email.

I don’t even have my voicemail set up.

I like communicating through text though. S.O. and I communicate more through text than talk when we’re not together.

So this begs the question… why do people need to talk on the phone all the time?

Hear me out — one of my coworkers is literally either on the phone for work or talking to someone on her cell phone all the time. From the time she comes in, to the time she’s leaving.

Aren’t you going to run out of things to talk about?

I know I will.

I had a roommate in undergrad, when I was living in the dorms, that from the second she got in from classes she was on the phone to the minute she went to sleep.

Literal phone conversation between me and S.O.:

Me: How was your day?

Him: It sucked. I was in court all day.

Me: Ugh. That sucks.

Him: How was your day?

Me: I talked on the phone all day.

Him: Okay.

I mean, we share funny shit on FB and have long talks when we’re together. But I just can’t stand talking on the phone to people. We text a good bit. I mean, I’d rather talk in text because I can think about what I’m going to say before I say it.

Maybe it’s a me thing.

I mean, at that rate aren’t you going to get brain cancer or something from your cell phone?

Yeah… probably a me thing.



The New Dermatologist


I went to see my new dermatologist yesterday.

And it was just about as awkward as going to the gyno. Seriously.

I still had to strip down while he checked every inch of my skin for cancer and weirdness while a bored nurse/PA/MA… whatever she was… looked on.

But, I’m comforted in knowing my dermatologist believes all of my horrible skin issues are genetic and in spite of said horrible genetic skin issues, I have an A+ skin care regiment.


But, he was adamant — you will be red, and you will be moley forever. Because genetics.

Also, no scary moles!

I was concerned about that because I was a child of the 80’s and I was sunburnt a lot as a kid. When I was diagnosed with rosacea at 17, I just avoided the sun altogether.

Probably why I’m Vitamin D deficient.

He gave me a huge block of information and instructions for scary moles — it’s not that they’re weird looking, but how fast they change. If they start changing like crazy over the course of a month, it’s probably el cancer.


I will admit, all the Dr. Pimple Popper (aka Dr. Sandra Lee) videos on youtube left much to be expected from my visit. But, she’s just awesome.