And then I went to check the status of my application to see if it went through and this:
And I took my time. I filled out all the questions I have all the experience they could ever want.
I answered “no” to one question, because lying on job applications is tacky and generally frowned upon.
The rest of my answers were beautiful and well written, well thought out. And I answered yes to all the other questions.
But I have a bachelors in Criminology and most of a masters and have a focus in victimization, procedure, ethics… oh yeah… and higher level data analysis. Shit that we don’t do here. Like significance testing, variable coding, SPSS, data collection….
But motherfucking “no”. Fuck that “no”.
Not good enough.
It’s like, I have all these awesome skills… that other people have… and that they have pieces of paper that say they have those skills, even if they aren’t as good as mine.
And, it’s not the money… well it is. Not going to lie, I can’t live off of nothing.
But it’s the goddamn indignation of it all.
Maybe this was just me, but remember when you were a kid and you just wanted to run away… just pack a bag and go. Forget everything else. I tried that once when I was like 7 and just packed up my little Lisa Frank back pack with random things (I was smart enough to pack a jug of water) and went out into the woods. I started building a fort out of sticks and a bed out of leaves and setting up house. Even made a fire pit.
Then it got dark, and mom was calling me for dinner and I went back home.
But as an adult that takes money. Which I haven’t any.
And I just have too much invested to drop everything and leave, even though I sorely want to.
And it just seems irresponsible.
I just renewed my lease, I have two cats that I just can’t abandon, I have stuff that was expensive and I don’t want to part with.
I love to pick up everything and just move across the world and reinvent myself and make a new life.
I hear panhandlers make upwards of $50k annually.