Happy Monday fine folks!
I spent mine at home, in pain, watching Star Trek.
I have a thing for Patrick Stewart.
IUD update — had really horrible cramps this afternoon. Like a 9 on the pain scale. More advil, heating pad. Not so bad now. I was too lazy to call in meds because that required leaving my house to get to a place where I could make a call, then waiting, then pharmacy.
I’ll do it tomorrow.
Beach didnt happen because besty went out with a bunch of folks and got smashed, got all uppidy for some reason and left the bar in a huff, decided to walk home at like 2 am, then got tired and decided to take a nap under a random tree. I got a call, which I’d thought was a butt dial from Motorhead at 5am on Sunday. Didnt answer because it was 5 am. Later found out the story. I find it extremely disturbing and hilarious at the same time.
Going to try my hardest to be functional at work tomorrow. I probably have like 100 emails and 8 stacks of shit I need to do.
But back to the topic at hand — mental illness. Now, this is just my own experience. But I’ve never thought of myself as mentally ill. Which, yes I have general anxiety disorder (GAD) which is being followed by my primary doctor. I take 100 mg zoloft every day. I do have bad hormonal swings around my period, which hopefully the IUD thing will help diminish. Essentially those swings make it harder to deal with bullshit.
But I dont go about my daily activities with this “I have GAD” in my head. I just get my shit done. Now folks in my immediate circle understand I have this thing and sometimes I may be taciturn and very absent or twitchy. Sometimes I may have melt downs (which normally I keep to myself). S.O. started wanting to know when these things occur, and not like a week after they happen, which is normal. Kind of freaked him out when I called mid attack and he didnt really know what to do.
Kind of same with my thyroid disease — I dont creat this victim mantra in my head that I cant do something because I have a chronic autoimmune disease.
I mean, I don’t hold round table discussions asking folks in my life “how do you feel about my GAD?” because I don’t feel I need to. I have long since overcome the need to have my existence validated by other folks. I’m at the point where if people want to be in my life, you have to take me for what I am.
I don’t know what prompted this — maybe being laid up for four days with nothing but my thoughts.