Lady parts and problems ahead. Ye be warned.
I know I keep going on about this but typing this out with my thumbs is distracting me from noticing that feeling of someone twisting a rusty knife in my uterus.
Holy god I hurt.
Like a fucking lot.
S.O. thinks I need to call my lady doctor, but honestly I kind of expected this.
Finally got the gumption up to check the strings of my Mirena. And everything appears to be in place. Generally if it is out of place, the strings will be longer/shorter. My worry is that it would perforate the uterine wall. I read a horror story where they couldn’t find one woman’s — it totally perforated the uterus and was just kind of chilling out by her spine…
But I feel the strings. Not the case.
I had to leave work early — my boss sent me home when she saw me sitting at my desk hyperventilating and sweating. I did call in pain meds. The five mile drive between work and the pharmacy left me almost in tears.
The nice lady, Cindy, who always checks me out at CVS and knows my name and DOB by heart was very concerned. Told me that I needed to go home and asked how far my drive was. Like 2 miles and seven red lights.
As soon as I got in my car I popped 2 tramadol and 2 methocarbamol. Now I’m laying on my couch with my heating pad thinking over all the things that could be wrong. I mean, it could be exacerbating an ovarian cyst that wasnt detected during the probulating that happened in February.
Then it occured to me — I probably have an angry uterus. I mean, I’ve been having baby fever for the past few years. Doesn’t help I work with newborns; all I talk about at work is babies. Literally. And my uterus is livid that I put some random foreign object in there instead of a baby and it’s been giving me hell.
The livid uterus — sounds like some feminist manifesto from The Vagina Monologues.
“Fuck” is my favorite word.