The “Ow Ow Fuckidy Ow’s”

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Lady parts and problems ahead. Ye be warned.

I know I keep going on about this but typing this out with my thumbs is distracting me from noticing that feeling of someone twisting a rusty knife in my uterus.

Holy god I hurt.

Like a fucking lot.

S.O. thinks I need to call my lady doctor, but honestly I kind of expected this.

Finally got the gumption up to check the strings of my Mirena. And everything appears to be in place. Generally if it is out of place, the strings will be longer/shorter. My worry is that it would perforate the uterine wall. I read a horror story where they couldn’t find one woman’s — it totally perforated the uterus and was just kind of chilling out by her spine…

But I feel the strings. Not the case.

I had to leave work early — my boss sent me home when she saw me sitting at my desk hyperventilating and sweating. I did call in pain meds. The five mile drive between work and the pharmacy left me almost in tears.

The nice lady, Cindy, who always checks me out at CVS and knows my name and DOB by heart was very concerned. Told me that I needed to go home and asked how far my drive was. Like 2 miles and seven red lights.

As soon as I got in my car I popped 2 tramadol and 2 methocarbamol. Now I’m laying on my couch with my heating pad thinking over all the things that could be wrong. I mean, it could be exacerbating an ovarian cyst that wasnt detected during the probulating that happened in February.

Then it occured to me — I probably have an angry uterus. I mean, I’ve been having baby fever for the past few years. Doesn’t help I work with newborns; all I talk about at work is babies. Literally. And my uterus is livid that I put some random foreign object in there instead of a baby and it’s been giving me hell.

The livid uterus — sounds like some feminist manifesto from The Vagina Monologues.

“Fuck” is my favorite word.

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24 thoughts on “The “Ow Ow Fuckidy Ow’s”

  1. Yeah…. helpless.

    So, I guess I should write “the reasons why I own a gun” soon.

    I just hate the perpetual victim complex — people just want to sit down and claim they cant do X because they are victims, instead of overcoming the obstacles that “victimize” them and being proud of that accomplishment. And this isnt saying there arent real and actual victims — violent crimes, war, disease.

    But I cant fathom being “victimized” my some minutiae (ie hurt feelings) and using it as an excuse for attention or to misbehave. Its just glorified Munchausens.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wondered what happened to you 🙂

    I could write the opposite side of the tale and write “the reasons why I don’t own a gun”

    The thing is everyone is a victim of someone or something obviously the levels vary but we are all victims yet we don’t all act like it.

    Victim mentality is one of the reasons I am not very active of FB. I have several friends that just post bullshit after bullshit. If they aren’t complaining about how others have treated them they are telling others to stop being victims and stand up for themselves. It’s easier to not comment than it is to tell them all to pull their finger out and stop being such fuckwits.

    The ones that really shit me are the ones who set everything as secret so their ex (or whatever) can’t see the comments then spend all their time reposting shit about the person they are hiding the stuff from.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Those folks crack me up. I dont even bother with facebook internet fights, or even reddit for that matter. Folks argue just for the sake of arguing. Nobody is going to change anyone’s mind no matter how obnoxiously fuckwitted or well thought out and reasonable their argument is. And facebook has devolved into stupid people arguing about shit they dont understand. I’ve curated my feed so that I mostly see food, cats, and cute babies — helps me keep track of family and let them know im still alive. I do more social media stuff on WP than FB.

      I cant deal with stupid people and politics — from my blog I rarely comment on current politics. I dont even want to open up that can. One of the blogs I follow (who has over 10k followers) wrote a very compelling post about her own personal reasons on why she doesnt take part in third wave feminism (fem-nazism) and people were so cruel to her over it. Her decision doesnt affect anyone but herself. She responded to the cruelty with grace and poise. It was admirable.

      On the gun topic — to each his own. I own one because I’m a female living by myself in a moderately sized town where crime is a thing. Not a gun nut by any means. Honstly I dont even keep the clip in it and it stays in a hidden spot. And, I can tell you, the day I have to use it will probably be the worst day of my life. I dont want to have to use it. But I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. I dont go waving it about and select few IRL even know I own a gun.

      Same idea as a rubber.

      Kind of rambly. Sorry. A little stoned on pain meds (but not in pain!)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Most of my FB followers are family 🙂 Although I have to say the two worst are friends, but they are carbon copies of each other, ones a female hater because the system fucked him over and the other is a male hater because the same system did similar to her. At least when it comes to family they just hide all their shit from me so I don’t see how much they hate me 🙂

    I tend not to read anything political or political like these days. I have a good friend who reposts humours political stuff and she loves nothing more than a good piss take of feminists which I do read but to read peoples views on politics really shits me. It’s always “woe is me the system has screwed me over”, “I hate X”, everything is so one sided, dare anyone have a view they don’t agree with. The thing is you can tell someone you hate pineapples, or sports cars, or the colour purple and only the true idiots tell you you are wrong, but tell them you like a politician, an activist, or even and outspoken socialite (which is unlikely) and they want to start a war with you.

    I don’t own a gun because I don’t need one, but if I do need one it could have one in my hand in less than 10 minutes. Sure that wont help me if someone breaks into my house and I’m laying in bed, but unless I want to keep a gun in every room the same situation could arise. Guns are not a new thing to me, I’ve lived in the country more than 30 years but I don’t have the same affection for guns many people do here. Most people here (that aren’t farmers) only want a gun because the government tells them they shouldn’t need one. Back when we were on the farm we had seven properties and not one gun, even farmers can live without them if they really want to. That doesn’t mean they should though.

    You keep rubbers in case someone breaks in? Well that’s an interesting way to handle them 🙂

    Glad you’re not in pain!

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    • Lol — you never know what kind of kinky shit folks are into…

      One of my nana’s sayings is “put a rubber over your head and snap out of it.”

      It’s kind of funny how the pro freedom of speech party flip flops ( at least here. When George W. Bush was in office, anyone criticizing the war or his policies was a “traitor” or a “terrorist”. The thought police were conservative then. With Obama, anyone criticizing any of his policies was “ignorant”, “xenophobe”, “racist” etc…. the liberals were the thought police. And now conservatives are thought to be the freedom of speech party.

      Folks love these labels they give people they deem guilty of thought crime. And that was my main point when discussing why Trump got elected. Normal, working class folks are tired of being calleed ignorant, racist, stupid, uneducated, xenophobic, etc… by the left for disagreeing with their rhetoric and dogma. They got tired of the pretentiousness of these people telling them how to live and what to think.

      I wonder if it is going to flip flop aggain where the liberals symbolize freedom of speech and the conservatives are authoritarian?

      At my birthday party last year, held by a mutual friend, two folks who’d been friends for 10 years came to blows over politics (alcohol involved). The liberal person was the one who started the fight.

      Evidently folks are comparing these times to novels like 1984 and The Handmaiden’s Tale, with the election of Trump, but I disagree. It’s hyperbole. It feels more like Brave New World where everyone is distracted with sex and drugs. I said it before the election — everyone is going to wail and gnash their teeth until one of the Kardashians shows their twat and everyone will forget Trump is president and go about their business.

      …. gotten off topic and rambly… yay pain meds!

      But I get what you’re saying about owning a gun — also, you have young children in the home. I would definitely have doubts about owning a gun in that case.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. In our cities apparently most of the home invasions are done by Sudanese teenagers. It’s probably racist but I’m not the one that needs the rubber when it’s those sort of people breaking into houses, the rubber should have been worn a few years ago.

    We get similar political ideas but the worst was when we got our first female PM. She really wasn’t brilliant but that didn’t matter even when she did do something reasonable it was over shadowed by the fuckwit media telling everyone she wore the wrong dress with the wrong blouse, she had a bad hair do, or she should wear more make. Then when she played the misogynist card the liberal loving stalwarts picked on her for playing the hard done by female. No one cared about politics for 4 years, they only cared about a skirt and whether it fitted with a shirt.

    A mate and I used to have drunken arguments about everything related to politics, problem was we used to agree with each other and he couldn’t vote anyway because he was from New Zealand. It used to piss his missus of something terrible when our drunken yabber went on for hours 🙂

    When I was a kid gun laws were a lot different here and although there was a law about keeping them in a locked gun cabinet very few in the country ever did. I fired my first 30-06 when I was eight years old. When it comes to guns/weapons education is key. There is no point hiding everything from kids but these idiot gun nuts that spend their time protesting the government for guns but don’t even hold a licence to own one are no better than the environmentalists that use paper signs to protest the cutting down of trees.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s like you are my spirit animal lol.

    But people in general are dumb. I dont think I could ever be a public figure.

    I mean in those situations, females do have it harder **dodges tomato** — people are more worried about what you are wearing, your hair, whether or not your foundation matches your neck, who you dated and who you fucked, your weight, bust size, if you had cosmetic surgery, if you are pregnant, and whether or not you are a man (watched this video on youtube presenting an argument that Michelle Obama was a man).

    Its disgusting. And most of the folks who obsess over these vapid things are other women — women tearing other women down. Like those fashion police bitches. Stupidest thing ever.

    Folks dont care as much if you are a male… except if you are an extremely attractive male. Then you get treated like a piece of meat and subjected to commentary and actions, that if directed at a female would be considered sexist.

    Yeah couldnt be a celebrity. I’d pull a Fiona Apple circa 1990’s and call the industry “bullshit” in front of god and everyone on live tv at an award show.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I really only like bourbon, is that the right kind of spirit 🙂

    I know other countries have had female leaders and I don’t really know how they have handled it but when we had a female leader 8 years ago the one thing it did prove is that we are not ready to have a female leader. Feminists would kill me for saying it but one look at what happened when we did get one proves this country is as sexist as it is racist. It’s not a case of women not being able to do the jobs it’s a case of the media and certain members of society wont let a woman lead.

    The weird thing when Monica got down on her knees and Clinton got a smile on his face was that while the world was horrified, people in Australia were writing into newspapers to say how if an Aussie PM did the same thing he’d be cheered all the blokes in the country would vote for him because he got a blow job. The only way they’d have said the same thing about a woman PM is if they got to see the video before they voted.

    I’d be the tabloids worst nightmare if I was a news worthy celeb, they’d hate interviewing me!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. No and no, to be honest.

    Cramps werent that bad today (thankfully), but I ended up getting a migraine and puked my brains out. I dont think it’s directly related — maybe stress triggered the migraine. Been miserable all day. Just kind of laid here on the sofa with a pillow over my eyes.

    How is your day going so far?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Heads and puking is weirdly related to everything. If my shoulder goes out to the point of stopping me doing anything the ache really is bad but following the ache is nausea and the feeling of wanting to spew. Last night after I feel asleep in the car at the school my shoulder started aching, it wasn’t enough to completely stop me but it’s like my brain thought an ache wasn’t enough it sent the message to my head to start hurting and tell me I was feeling sick. It’s bloody stupid, pain killers don’t work for my shoulder but the feelings of nausea that some times come after it are the type that make think taking anything is pointless because I’ll just throw it up. I want a new brain!

    My day isn’t too bad so far, my eye is blurry but not sore, I feel like I’ve been punched in the ribs and I’m tired but most of that is normal. It’s mum bday today so we have a busy afternoon after lunch and school pick up but all will be good. I kicked a chair before and for ten minutes it replaced every pain I could possibly have, fuck it hurt!! hurt so much swearing wouldn’t even have helped.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I am a pitiful person 🙂

    Honestly I didn’t deliberately pick the fight, the chair jumped in front of me. What’s worse is that it’s a bloody kids chair with Dora on it. I got attacked by Dora The Fucking Explorer!

    Like

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