The Musical Thesis

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Good morning fine folks!

With the very sad passing of Chris Cornell, I’ve been having some hard core musical nostalgia today.

I have “I am the Highway” stuck in my head.

When I was little (’96-’97ish) I would wake up early on the weekends and watch VH1’s Top 40 on the weekends…. you know, back when they actually played music.

I remember the mainstays being TLC’s “Waterfalls”, Jewel’s “You Were Meant for Me”, and The Wallflower’s “One Headlight”. Those were my favorites at the time.

I also had a thing for Paula Cole and Alanis Morisette.

As I started Middle School, and the music you listened to defined your popularity, I started in with the Britney Spears, BSB, N’Sync, and all the other dreadful pop music that came out. Those were my Mariah Carey years, too. I adored the albums “Butterfly” and “Rainbow”

Sometime around 8th or 9th grade (’01-’02) I got tired of pop radio stations playing the same thing over and over and over.

So, I changed the station. First song I heard was Breaking Benjamin’s “Polyamorous”.

Then I fell in love with Amy Lee’s vocals, Chris Cornell’s Audioslave work, Weezer, Queens of the Stone Age (which is one of my go to karaoke bands), Foo Fighters.

Haven’t looked back.

As I get older, I get more into classic rock and older music. I have a hard care soft spot for Johnny Cash. I adore Freddy Mercury. Also, surprisingly, my go to romantic music is Al Green and Otis Redding.

Now, I can safely say I’ve become a music snob.

I have a hard time with “musicians” who are just over processed vocalists like Beyonce, Mariah, Katy Perry, Kesha, Nicki Minaj, most rappers, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, etc… Generally anyone who ends up on Buckley’s worst songs list.

“Musicians” who don’t play any musical instruments. This is one reason why I love Amy Lee — yes, her early Evanescence days were a bit cringy (she even says so herself), but she has a beautiful singing voice that doesn’t need autotune, plays the guitar, harp, and piano.

Dave Grohl sings, plays guitar and drums.

Stevie Wonder is blind and can still sing, play piano, drums, base, and harmonica.

Lenny Kravitz plays guitar, base, keyboard.

Prince played guitar, keyboard, drums, sax…

But none of the “musicians” listed above do nothing but sing, and still require autotune (except for Beyonce who is exceptional without autotune, but still doesn’t play any instruments)

I like my musicians to actually play musical instruments and actually be talented.

And I know I’m going to get the, “Well, you’re not a musician, Carolanne, you have no right to judge.”

Dude, I don’t need to be a five star chef to tell you a meal is bad. Same with music.

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21 thoughts on “The Musical Thesis

  1. Seriously where do you get off? You’re not a musician, Carolanne, you have no right to judge!

    Jewel? TLC? I was nearly going to stop talking to you at that point but I decided I’d give you a second chance and keep reading!!

    I’m not a huge fan of Breaking Ben but I spent a year or so hanging shit on them purely because my niece liked them and it’s what adults have to do when kids find new bands. My wife listens to them a bit but she had a bit of a sheltered musical upbringing and now she’s having a mid life musical crisis that see her listen to bands with a hard rock beat and lyrics about being different, kind of like my teenage nieces only the two cant say they like the same band at the same time.

    At least our kids are growing up with taste, Kiss, Dropkick Murpheys, Europe, Poison are just some of their karaoke list lately πŸ™‚

    I never liked Prince but as a master of 27 different musical instruments I knew his music and respected the talent. Never a big fan of Lenny either, but he took stupid Natalie Imbruglia away from us for a while so that’s points for him.

    Although I am wondering when you’re going to reference metal given that it’s in the tags πŸ˜›

    Liked by 1 person

      • Prince was top40 popular while I was a metal head so I had to dislike his music.

        My cousin is a bit like Prince. I know Prince earned Maestro status on most of his 27 different instruments and I’m not exactly sure what one needs to do to earn that by my cousin current has more than 20 instruments in his repertoire and current plays in four bands and does solo performances.

        Metal genres are a joke. I don’t even rate my music in terms of genre anymore because a new genre is made up every other day and some of the names are just hilarious. I love ragging shit out of the metalhead on one of my forums because they keep listing all these new genres that sound like made up names. They get all shitty with me because they take it so personally. Metalheads love to think they are superior to every other music genre, but then there is those within metaldom that think they are even more superior because they listen to a specific genre of metal. It’s the kind of elitism I just can’t ignore sometimes.

        Liked by 1 person

          • When I was in my final years of school I had an older mate who used to spend hours making up insults but they were “intelligent” insults with big words and long sentences. some were quite good, other were crap. I got him to write a review of one of my assignments once and he spent nearly 2 hours coming up with the review. I really wish I’d kept his response (but this was before computers and saving everything). I still think the teacher failed me because his words baffled her.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Probably.

            Life lesson — doesn’t matter how many letters a person has after their name, they still may not be the sharpest tool in the shed.

            Speaking of shed and sharper tools, I work with people who dont understand subject/verb agreement and basic conjugation.

            Both Incompetent and Lazy respectively.

            Example #1 “she have not seen baby.” HAS. Has not seen baby.

            Example #2 “called and line ranged and ranged.” The past tense of “to ring” is “rung”. The phone rung and rung.

            I cant make this shit up.

            These women have MS degrees.

            It’s one thing if English is your second language, but this is plain sad.

            Liked by 1 person

          • I used to speak the Queen’s English but then I thought “fuck it” she wont speak any of mine!!

            Not sure what it’s like in America but truck drivers here have a reputation for swearing and it’s not something I’m ashamed of knowing that I too swore a lot as a truck driver. But the number of store owners and managers who thought they were better than the us steering wheel attendants because of their title yet couldn’t keep up the easiest of conversations was ridiculous.

            Liked by 1 person

          • I write a lot better than I talk. I do speak fluent slang with a hint of swearing, I can even abbreviate swearing.

            I didn’t know what Southern women say but I knew what redneck men say because I’ve got most of the Blue Collar Comedy DVDs and multiple DVDs of all those who do the Blue Collar stuff.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Lol. My favorite is Ron White. Between “drunk in public” and “Mamie Eisenhower”. Dear lord.

            Southern wome say some pretty awesome shit. Never take a “bless your heart” at face value.

            Like Bruce Willis said in Fifth Element “English and Bad English”

            Also a little bit of German, but mostly bad German — “kuss mein arsch, du bist ein stuck von sheisse. Fick dich! Du schlampe!”

            Speaking of stand up — S.O. has tried so many times to get me to like Jeff Dunham and his stupid puppets. I just cant. Maybe it’s the idea of a grown ass man playing with dolls or all the creepy ass movies where the dolls come alive and gut you like a fish. Either way, weirds me out.

            Liked by 1 person

          • I do love the Tater Salad story, and Engvall’s Here’s a sign is something that not enough people in this country have seen because they don’t understand the reference when they hear it.

            I’ve seen some of Jeff Dunham but David Starssmen has always been a favourite around here. We even bought my mum a Ted E Bear for her birthday about 10 years ago.

            We have comedians like the Blue Comedy guys here, they do an aussie brand of humour but most of it is heavy in swearing. Kevin Bloody Wilson, Col Elliot, Rodney Rude have been doing their brand of comedy for 40 years nearly, while Kevin Bloody Wilson’s daughter Jenny Talia is making a name for females doing dirty comedy. Some people say it’s all smut and requires no talent but I don’t mind being labelled as immature for listening πŸ™‚

            Liked by 1 person

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