I don’t talk about it a lot, but I’ve mentioned it in the past. My only brother is in prison.
Why, you ask?
Because he’s a dumbass.
For his birthday I usually always send him some books from Amazon. He always asks for pulp trash — he actually asked me for 50 Shades of Shit last year…. or the year before. Jesus, has he been in there that long?
Instead, I sent:
- Walden and Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau
- Merriam Webster Dictionary
- The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
- Hamlet, Othello, King Lear, and Macbeth by Shakespeare
After that, I sent him:
- Dracula by Bram Stoker
- The Divine Comedy by Dante
- Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
- 1984 by George Orwell
- Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
His birthday is next Wednesday, so I went ahead and sent him another few pieces of classic literature (threw in some irony, there too):
- Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
- The Trial by Franz Kafka
- The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe
- The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
So far, he said he really enjoyed The Divine Comedy — he’s read it three times now and says he get new understanding every time he reads it. The Scarlet Letter wasn’t as good as he thought it would be. He loved Heart of Darkness. He said it reminded him of Apocalypse Now, and I had to break it down to him how Apocalypse Now was based on Heart of Darkness. He also said he’s read Walden and Civil Disobedience several times and he said it changed his outlook.
I mean, if he’s going to spend his time in there, might as well try to learn something and broaden his mind.
I might send him some Hemmingway for Christmas.
Plus, he totally dropped out of high school and missed having to read all of this stuff.
My folks are going to go see him next weekend and wanted me to come. But I don’t really want to, so I used the tried and true excuse — I’m broke.
Works every time.
Unless they offer you gas money and will buy your meals.
Totally do it then.