The Books I send My Brother in Prison


I don’t talk about it a lot, but I’ve mentioned it in the past. My only brother is in prison.

Why, you ask?

Because he’s a dumbass.

For his birthday I usually always send him some books from Amazon. He always asks for pulp trash — he actually asked me for 50 Shades of Shit last year…. or the year before. Jesus, has he been in there that long?

Instead, I sent:

  • Walden and Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau
  • Merriam Webster Dictionary
  • The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
  • Hamlet, Othello, King Lear, and Macbeth by Shakespeare

After that, I sent him:

  • Dracula by Bram Stoker
  • The Divine Comedy by Dante
  • Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
  • 1984 by George Orwell
  • Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

His birthday is next Wednesday, so I went ahead and sent him another few pieces of classic literature (threw in some irony, there too):

  • Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  • The Trial by Franz Kafka
  • The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe
  • The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

So far, he said he really enjoyed The Divine Comedy — he’s read it three times now and says he get new understanding every time he reads it. The Scarlet Letter wasn’t as good as he thought it would be. He loved Heart of Darkness. He said it reminded him of Apocalypse Now, and I had to break it down to him how Apocalypse Now was based on Heart of Darkness. He also said he’s read Walden and Civil Disobedience several times and he said it changed his outlook.

I mean, if he’s going to spend his time in there, might as well try to learn something and broaden his mind.

I might send him some Hemmingway for Christmas.

Plus, he totally dropped out of high school and missed having to read all of this stuff.

My folks are going to go see him next weekend and wanted me to come. But I don’t really want to, so I used the tried and true excuse — I’m broke.

Works every time.

Unless they offer you gas money and will buy your meals.

Totally do it then.



15 thoughts on “The Books I send My Brother in Prison

      • I know what you mean, my Sis in law used to tell my brother and me off for talking about work when we got together as a family, but we used to spent 80 hours a week in the same shitty job and sleeping most of the day so we had nothing else to talk about!

        However I would still throw those books at your head if you sent them to me 😛

        Liked by 1 person

          • I dunno — I hated reading all the classic literature in school, but as an adult I read them again and find new understanding and enjoy them much more.

            And besides, my mom sends him pulp novels to read. I think of my book selections as supplemental.

            And he said he really likes them.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Yeah I’m just a rebel, if it’s popular and hyped chances are I wont read it or see it. I’ve never read Harry Potter, I’ve never watched anything but the first three Star Wars movies and I will never watch a Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Not because they are bad but because they were either hyped or people told me I should. The books you list may well be good but they were also the sorts of things I was told to read so I refused.

            I might still throw them at you but I’d do it softly 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          • Lol. I mean, I will try something hyped just to say I did, but generally I will avoid it — especially music. I did read a little bit of Twatlight and thought it was retarded. I got two pages into 50 Shades of Shit, said ‘what the fuck?’, and but it down. Would have lit it on fire, but it was my mom’s copy and she would have beat me with a rolling pin because its her favorite. I grew up with HP, but the series for me ended with the seventh book. All the stuff that’s come after just seems like a ploy to make money.

            Mots of my true favorite things in life have little to no hype. Lots of movies I like had little to no fanfare when they came out, but became cult classics — donnie darko, event horizon, boondock saints, fight club, futurama, etc.

            Liked by 1 person

          • I was never into Hollywood vampire shit so Twatlight wasn’t ever going to be one I went for. My wife told me early on that 50 shades was crap so I never bothered with that figuring the internet was full of badly written porn, and although my wife is trying to get the kids into HP I still refuse. Until she reads my Bentley Little collection I wont read HP.

            Oh my gawd that movie list reads a lot like my wife’s chosen list (she would add HP and fifth element but the others are pretty darn close.)

            Liked by 1 person

          • Yeah I agree vampires are to be killed. Although I do have a series of YA books called Vampyrates which started out really good and they didn’t die, but it also wasn’t really a love story. Faded a bit after the fifth book but it was really cool and unique when it started.

            I wasn’t a huge fan of Buffy but we own all the Dusk Till Dawns. It’s funny my wife watches Supernatural, Grimm, and shows like that, but claims she can’t watch horror.

            Liked by 1 person

  1. I’ll never understand how anyone can read 50 Shades if Grey. It’s so awful. I don’t even think I made it through the first page. The writing sucks rocks, and people love it. blah.

    Next time, send him some Dickens… like Bleak House or something. That should give him something to chew on.

    Liked by 1 person

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