I’m going to keep this as anon as possible, but what folks are naming their kids these days is HIGHlarious.
I work with babies and I see TONS of baby names.
When I first started, I heard the urban legend of the baby named “Chlamydia”.
Yes it happened.
Erotica and Ariola are two of my other favorites.
The first bizarre name I came in contact with was “Sir’Majesty”.
I will never forget it.
I’ve seen my fair share of Emma, every variation of Kaiden, Aiden, and Jaden. Amyah, Anyah, Alyah, Alana, Arianna, Ariah, Aiyana, Alani, Amani…. Liam — so much Liam. And Nevaeh — no, you are not clever.
And what’s with all the apostrophes??? Ja’Mari, C’Ire, Ja’Ziah, Mi’Layah, Ke’Zara, Da’Kota, A’Myah, Za’Roya, An’Tonio, Ra’Kai…
Or people naming their kids after objects or ideas — Journey, Vintage, Success, Scenic, Diamond, Pilot, Sincere, Treasure, Promise, Freedom, Peaches, Apple, Kale, Chevy, Bentley, Mercedes, True, Amazin, Colt, Remington, Ruger.
Dude just name your kid Stapler, Plunger, Bleach, Enema, or Coffee Cup and be done with it.
Also folks that give their kids “inspirational names”, that are a lot to live up to — King, Messiah, Prince, Queen, Princess, Diamond, Majesty, Legend, Caesar, Countess, Dutchess, Duke, Marquis.
Because I have a name which got made of soooo much in high school, I cannot give my children such a name. Nor do I want them to be another Brittany, Ashley, Justin, Cody… etc.
When I lived in the freshman dorm, there were 5-10 Brittany’s on my hall; we had to call them by their last name.
And I’ve gotten a lot of shit about my name — specifically people who I interact with on a daily basis who do not know how to spell or pronounce my name.
When I was in high school, “Roses” by Outkast came out:
First, my name isn’t “Caroline”.
There is no “I” in my first name.
But it didn’t stop folks in the hall — “CAROLIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEEEEEE”
Or CURLanne — because I have very curly hair. Get it!?!??!
S.O. and I talked kids names. We have lots of good male family names — Henry, James, Brett, Thomas, Richard, Robert, etc…
Our female names, not so much — Tammy, Lynette, Ruth, Lynda, Rosalie, Carol, Deborah, etc…
So I wanted to go German if we have a girl/s — my family is very German. Those here who know my last name can vouch.
I love the name “Adelheid” (pronounced A-del-hide) and can be shortened to Heidi.
Also, I love the name “Astrid”.
We both have some Irish ancestry — I love the name “Saoirse” (pronounced Seer-Sha), or “Aoife” (pronounced Ee-Fa)
S.O. also has a lot of Italian on his mom’s side — Maybe “Gianna” or “Serafina”
But there will be no Emma, no Brittany, no Liam, no Jaden, no Isabella, no Edward…
No goddamn King’Legend’Amazin’Cullen’Raspberry’Chlorox