We all have this fantasy at one point or another where some giant wondrous thing is going to swoop in and save us from life, insecurities, other people, love, money… and then happily ever after happens.
And it’s just not going to happen.
I’ve often wondered what happens to the Disney Princesses after they find whatever it is that makes them live happily ever after — man, freedom, self actualization, etc…
When they find their dream partner/lover, do they ever bicker about each other’s farts, or how long they take in the bathroom, whose paying, whose doing the dishes, why did they track mud in, money…
I find, especially with millennials, because we were raised on this idea of happily ever after that we just expect things. We don’t have to work for them.
We feel that some wonderful serendipitous thing is going to happen and all will be well and you needn’t worry about anything ever.
Sorry, love. Doesn’t work that way.
Some truths I’ve learned along the way, which help me understand why happily ever after isn’t a thing:
- No one loves you more than you — take care of yourself. You only have one life to live — live it well, and fill it with nourishment. You have control of what you put in, both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
- Everyone has their own interests and agenda — most of the time it is innocent, like a few laughs, companionship… or it can be downright odious. Protect yourself.
- Trust no one. Ever. But it doesn’t excuse you from being respectful and kind. There are people in this world I despise, but if they call to me needing genuine help, I will be there.
- No one is going to stick up for you but you.
- You, and everyone you know and love is going to die.
- You cannot please everyone. Don’t deplete yourself to do so.
- Even if people are shitty to you, still treat them with kindness and respect.
- “No” is the most amazing word in existence. Use it.
- It’s okay to agree to disagree. You don’t have to go overboard with your disagreement and you can still love and care about them.
- Sometimes, you have to let people go. And it hurts, but sometimes it’s for the best.