The IRL Problem


Good morning, fine folks!

I come to you today with a conundrum.

A friend of mine IRL has an awesome blog I really, really want to follow. But I’m really trying to keep my blogging and my IRL-life kind of separate.

I mean, folks here, if you read regularly kind of sort of know where I am and my first name.

It’s not hard to extrapolate where/who I am from that.

But I have no one who knows me personally that’s on here.

I mean I talk about a lot of controversial issues, done best under the cover of quasi-anonymity. Also, I vent about things that happen in my life which may cause some folks in my life hard feelings. And yeah, I use pseudonyms, but it still makes it kind of awkward.

Anyone else deal with this?

Definitely want your input!



16 thoughts on “The IRL Problem

  1. I don’t deal with it here because only a few people know I have a blog (about the same number who read my crap 🙂 ) but I used to have a similar problem on several forums. I got to know more than a few personally and the more I got to know the more annoying it became. People started expecting me to side with them in arguments. agree with their posts when others didn’t and support them when they were being stubborn. But that was all about power and power games…bloody forums, not much different to politics really!

    I’ve personally met some good people on the internet and I’ve purposely hidden from some people I’ve know for many years. I have different names for just about every forum and online presence purely to keep things separated.

    The problem with the internet is that too many people think the screen protects them from being seen, they will say the dumbest shit on line and then look you in the eye and be a different person. Personally if I have any doubts at all about a person I wont reveal a hidden identity, I obviously can’t hide certain details from some people who know me and my business but I can hide other stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Understandable.

      I read one article about this woman who is a business owner in North Carolina and she made some idiot comment about how those senators who were shot up deserved it — can’t remember her exact verbiage. And she’s currently being doxxed for it. Her idiocy has been screen capped and published on several websites.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah I don’t make any comments with my business FB account for the simple reason that anything can offend someone. But these days I’m a lot more sedate with what I do comment on. Still I wouldn’t be pointing too many people I know personally to my blog and I don’t write about people I know anyway.

        I had one guy threaten to come to my house and kill me while my family watched a few years ago all because I told him his football team sucked. Same forum I had a guy threaten to torch my car.

        Actually one after thought. You may never write about anyone in your life, but the second someone you know reads your stuff they start looking for themselves in that writing.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Agreed. It’s like when someone close to you posts some passive aggressive vague thing on FB and everyone things it’s about them.

          You may be right. I haven’t written about the person in question, but we have LOTS of mutual friends and I’ve written about those people.

          Yeah… folks are crazy. I hope you reported the guy to the police. I mean, there’s not much they can do, but if something does happen (knock on wood) at least there’s a report of a suspect.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Between one male friend who likes and comments on everything anti-female and one female that likes and comments on everything anti-male, passive aggressive teenage nieces are almost a welcome on FB. I’m much rather posts about Nickleback than the other shit….oh crap I said I prefer something with Nickleback!!!

            The best thing is writing stuff about no one and having people who don’t really know you tell you it’s about someone.

            I didn’t report him to the police because he was all piss and vinegar and I knew I carried a bigger stick than he did. Had it been anyone else I might have called the cops but not that guy, he was a danger to himself no one else.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. No one in my real life — aside from the hubs and he totally doesn’t have to — reads my blog. And I don’t read anyone else’s because I just can’t get up close and personal with them that way. They don’t demand it of me and I don’t want to. And I totally don’t ask anyone in my life to read mine. Like ever. However! If you really want to read someone’s blog, and they are, you know, blogging, there shouldn’t be any reason why you shouldn’t read her blog if that is your desire. It’s out there for all of the world to read after all. It’s not like she’s keeping a diary.

    That being said, be prepared to read something you might not like about yourself or people you both know. And even if she doesn’t flat out say anything bad or mean, there’re also hints and asides that could make you wonder, “What does she mean by that?” My mom-in-law read my blog for a while and completely read things into what I was saying that weren’t there. Because she knows me and thought she knew the “words behind the words” so to speak. So there is that danger. My mom-in-law doesn’t read my blog anymore. ^_^ Just sayin’.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello. I started writing my blog without telling anybody else about it. I wrote posts for about 6 months, without telling any family or friends (apart from my boyfriend and sister). I actually really liked having a ‘secret’ blogging life, and the people i met in the blogging world often offered me a lot of support, and it was nice to communicate with people who didn’t really know me (I was dealing with hearing loss, and people in my ‘real’ life didn’t seem to know how to act around me, and often seemed awkward). After about 6 months, i put a link to my blog on Facebook, and shared it with many of my contacts (not every facebook ‘friends’)…I received a lot of lovely messages from people who didn’t know what I had been going through, and many of them read my blog. But, after a week or so, that was it. No more messages from them, and no more comments. I don’t think many of them continued to read my story… I guess, if people are really interested, they would continue to follow….Part of me feels like i should have kept it private, but the other part feels that at least I made people aware of my blog, and gave them the choice to follow it, and to understand my situation a little better, if they wanted to…
    It’s a difficult decision…I guess the choice depends on whether you are happy for people in your real life to know your personal thoughts and feelings…also, the purpose of your blog…
    Good luck with the decision!
    Have a good weekend
    – Carly

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the reply!

      I kind of like the “secret” blogging life. It’s easier to get your thoughts out and seek out other like minded people. And as opposed to other social media, I feel like blogging is much more fulfilling and I can be more honest. With FB, or even IG, I have to keep it simpler, and more light, whereas with blogging, I can get my thoughts out about more controversial issues without worrying about upsetting people I interact with daily.

      If that makes sense. It’s kind of word salad in my brain trying to explain why it works better for me. lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That completely makes sense! I am so honest in my blog and I don’t want to hold anything back. The reason for my writing my blog was to write down my feelings and experiences. I’ve actually stopped posting on Facebook, and only occasionally put something on my timeline. Enjoy the secret blogs world 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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