The Unexpected Sums Totaling Over $300


I don’t ever really talk about this, because honestly it’s embarrassing — but then I’ve been pretty self deprecating here… so why not?

I’m bad with money.

Like real bad.

My bills get paid… mostly.

Sometimes I have to triage… because you know, there’s a hierarchy. Rent always comes first. Utilities next, but I know I can make a partial, and just have a past due and pay when I have a better pay check. I’m stuck in a position where no work = no pay. I don’t have paid holidays, I don’t have paid sick leave. Every time I miss work I have to stay late/come in early and make it up. If I can’t I just have to suck up the fact my pay check is going to suck.

Same with car insurance.

I do a month to month (straighttalk) for my phone so that if I can’t reload, I can just let my service end and refill when I get paid again.

Then there’s gas for my car.

And my routine is aiight.

I can’t save because I don’t have any money to save.

I mean, I do eat better than I did before — being poor is hell on your diet. Everything that’s bad for you is cheaper than everything that is good for you.

But yeah… anything unexpected over $300 makes me hyperventilate.

Two years ago, S.O. cosigned an apartment with me. The plan was (and is) for him to move in and have a job here.

As I lived in that apartment I realized how much I hated it. I was solely paying the rent which consumed 50% of my income. I moved out on the day my lease ended. I gave 30 days notice I was moving.

They came back saying I needed to give 60 days, which would have put me have to pay them an extra month that a) I wasn’t staying there and b) past my contract end date.

And I flatly told them they were full of shit and I wasn’t going to pay them for another month.

And I thought I had It handled.

Until S.O. told me there was activity on his credit report that had a 60% chance of being those assholes or fraudulent activity.

It’s only $677… but it’s more than enough to make me hyperventilate.

And the agency in charge of collecting said debt — bunch of really, and truly horrible human beings.

He came out on Tuesday and asked me if I knew who these people are.

I didn’t, honestly, but as soon as I Googled the business I felt the pucker factor.

Oh fuck.


And the reviews got worse and worse.


If it is due to that apartment complex… I just feel awful about the whole thing.

I’ve been in this perpetual state of anxiety and panic for the past two days.


Just shit.


I probably can’t pay. I’m so pinched for money the next week I’m considering whether or not to have a phone or eat… eat well.

I might go off keto, not because I want to but because I cant afford it.

My rent went up to $689, because I have been sick, my paycheck is going to be $810ish. Leftovers will be roughly $120. I have a $40 specialist copay next week. Now it’s $80. Gas = $20. Phone = $50, which would leave me with $10. So I’m forgoing the phone —  I have to live on $60 for the next two weeks and I need groceries, toilet paper, and cat litter.

I can see lots of frozen veggies and canned tuna in my future.

So I brought up my super brokeness to S.O.

“Well, I can survive on $50 for two weeks. I’m thinking about dropping my gym membership.”

Love, here’s the thing. You choose to and you don’t have to make the sacrifice between having a phone and eating, or gas, or having to go see a specialist because your body hates you.

You don’t have medical expenses.

And this isn’t me being entitled to his money. I don’t feel that way at all. But sometimes I feel like I make it too easy for him, being very independent, that when I actually do need help he doesn’t do the “boyfriend” obligation of helping me out.

So, I called my Nana — and she’s going to pay my phone and have my daddy-o put some money in my bank.

She also said S.O. is a shit head.

Sometimes I agree.



8 thoughts on “The Unexpected Sums Totaling Over $300

    • I concur. Honestly, the one I most empathize with is Stan. He’s the only one who can generally see through all the bullshit, but as a kid, he’s still easily manipulated.

      Even though South Park can be extremely vulgar, I have so much respect for it because they go after everyone. They don’t care. I appreciate that.

      Except for that episode where Comedy Central censored the image of Mohammed….

      I think that’s the only one they couldn’t do.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, but Kyle is always the one learning something. Cartmans always manipulating and Butters is everyone’s stepping mat. 🙂
        But you’re right, no one is exempt from South Park it seems and I can appreciate that, no matter who you are they will get you, or they’ll find a way.


  1. Okay, so let me get this straight, you went into an apartment you couldn’t afford because your SO was supposed to come and live with you but didn’t… You gave your 30 days and left said apartment, but that apartment suddenly said it was 60 days and you told them to take a flying leap and left anyways (which is what I would have totally done). Now your SO is getting activity on their credit which may or may not be about the apartment.

    Am I caught up? Good. I can’t tell you want to do, but I can tell you what I’d do in your situation. I’d ignore the bastards until they go away. Because this is a debt that they created, and not one that you incurred on your own. If your SO doesn’t want to ignore them and wants to pay them off to save his credit, that’s on him. It’s totally not your fault that you’re poor, I mean it’s not like you wake up every morning and say, “You know what? Today, I’ll be poor.” If you feel guilty because this is affecting your SO’s credit, don’t have anyone co-sign for you again, and don’t borrow from the future again — live somewhere you can’t afford with the promise of someone moving in to help with the rent. It really is as simple as that. I’ve been poor all my life and I learned the hard way to never live anywhere I couldn’t afford to pay for myself. Borrowing from the future is a one way road to heartache.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pretty much yeah… Since then I have downsized much. The whole reason he cosigned was because he was going to move in, but back then we had lots of high hopes and plans… I’m in a much more reasonable situation now. Honestly, his reaction when I told him I was downsizing ticked me off the most — “but where am I going to put my stuff when I move in?”

      Just no.


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