The Letter to Myself, 10 Years Ago

6360335201761954691030961001_image

If there were a way to write a letter and through magic or science have it transported to my younger self, this is what I’d have to say.

Hey you,

It’s you from the future.

It was 10 years ago today you are going to lose your virginity to a scrub later tonight because you were afraid you were going to die a virgin.

Seriously… don’t do it. Just wait. It won’t be that good and he won’t even let you cuddle afterward.

In the next 10 years of your life, you are going to go through some really horrible and shitty things. And it’s going to suck.

But you learn so much, and you become such a better person in spite of it all.

My advice, as someone older and smarter than you, who you will become, here are some pointers:

  1. Not everything is as it seems. Don’t take anything at face value. Analyze everything. Document everything. Keep a journal and quit burning and deleting what you write.
  2. Don’t trust anyone. People will burn you; even people you love and who say they love you.
  3. Stop talking all the time. Your mouth will get you in so much trouble.
  4. Know when to say “no”. And do it frequently. Bad roommate, say no. Roommate’s shitty boyfriend, no. People taking advantage of you, no. Psychological abuse, no. Being told you are less than, no. You can stick up for yourself, and it it makes someone angry or upset, you don’t need that negativity. You don’t need to be constantly berated with all your flaws; you know them yourself, and you don’t need to tolerate it. Stand up for yourself and say it’s not okay.
  5. You don’t know everything, so stop.
  6. Take better care of yourself — you are going to have to contend with an autoimmune disease later. It will be less horrible if you take better care of yourself now.
  7. Dye your hair crazy colors. Seriously. Because I have an adult job and can’t do it. My one regret in my youth.
  8. Take more risks. You are so young and you have so much to experience.
  9. Reassess your priorities. It sucks that you have to decide the rest of your life when you are 19. And you chose wrong. Sorry. You should have stayed a biology major or went into nursing, or some other field. Maybe even trade school.
  10. Don’t be so goddamned insecure. You are beautiful. Yes, you are a fat kid. And I know you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see. Most people don’t. But you are beautiful. Don’t forget that.

I know you think you know best. But just open yourself up and learn more. Also, if you do go through with it tonight FYI, the scrub will feel up one of your dormmates on your floor while watching a movie the next day.

Sorry.

I wonder what my letter to myself will look like in 10 years.

Probably dump him, quit that job, back pack around the world, take better care of yourself, etc…

sig

Love what you see? Keep the love going by supporting my writing through Patreon!

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “The Letter to Myself, 10 Years Ago

  1. Damn if I found a letter like that to myself I’d just shoot myself and decide it wasn’t worth continuing..

    Never tell yourself you are smarter than yourself, because despite the years you may not be, you might just think you are, which in turn is really no different to telling your younger self off for being a know-it-all and not listening.

    Apart from anything if you really don’t want your ten year junior to make the same mistakes show them the good things, show them how some of those fuck ups actually turned out ok, show them that life wasn’t all a kick in the arse. Firstly it will make them think there is something worth living for, but two it will force you to think positive about something.

    I know this isn’t a pat on the head and a ‘there, there girl, you’ll be ok.’ or an ‘I feel sorry for you dump his arse, blow the town and never look back it’s the only way,’ I’ll leave that for the do gooders who think they can help everyone. I’m meaner than that and it’s a ‘snap out of it princess and start looking for something positive.’ and just like your 10 year junior would ignore you, you can ignore me. Just like I ignored people when it happened to me.

    How about a harsh quote now? “99% of life is what you make of it, so if your life sucks, you suck! – Suicidal Tendencies 1994”

    Now for a nice warm finish: You are better than this. Prove it!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The last 10 years of my life have been quite the struggle. My marriage sucked but I learned so much about women from that 3 year torture chamber. Lol. I still think you ahould go backpacking though. Maybe save up some money and hit it next year!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello. What a great idea. I’m seriously considering doing the same…or in reverse: writing a letter now and reading it in 10 years. My opinions and ideas about life are always changing…
    …I felt a bit sad when reading the ‘don’t trust anyone’ point on your list. I agree that you shouldn’t trust anyone unless you truly know them. I have also learned my lesson by trusting people too soon. I have difficulty with trust from being hurt in the past from friends and boyfriends. However I am happy to say that there are a few people I now completely trust – the main people being my sister and my boyfriend. They have both supported me through difficult times, and i have been there for them also. They have my complete and utter trust.
    Oh, and definitely go backpacking if you have the chance! This is one of my regrets!!
    Take care
    – Carly

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Carly!

      That was a hard one for me too. I had to learn how to be completely self reliant. And just because I don’t trust anyone, doesn’t mean I don’t like them. I love S.O., but I don’t trust him completely. I know if I have an emergency, like when I threw my back out last year and needed to go to the ER. He drove an hour and a half to take me to the ER and stayed with me the whole night. But other things, I don’t trust him. Like I know he’d choose his family over me…. same with my parents. I love them, but I don’t trust them.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s