The Vicarious Apartment Hunt


Good afternoon, lovelies.

This weekend was aiight… well, for the most part. Besty is having a melt down and wants to move out. I’ve been helping Besty try to find an apartment/other living situation where she can have her cat and her plants. Her cat, Caspie, is indoor/outdoor, so she wants a place with some yard that’s not near a too major road.

Also, she’s got a lot of shit. Furniture like whoa.

A piano.

Sewing supplies, desks, art supplies, etc….

Well, she is an art teacher, so that makes sense.

I’ve been browsing Trulia, Zillow, and Craigslist.

We did find one we really liked — a kind of studio deal near a park with a lake in town, but it got snatched up real quick.

I’ve found a 2br/1ba duplex, that if I weren’t on a lease I’d jump for. Looks like it might slightly be in the ghetto… but nothing some sprucing up and some plants might do.

Actually, I found it on Google Street View. Not ghetto in the slightest. In a decent neighborhood and close to her work.

Besty’s very, very aesthetic and works very hard to beautify her surroundings.

Seriously… she should flip houses.

But, yeah. Rough weekend for her.

I kind of hate being stuck in the middle of those to — being the only rational voice. Like, Motorhead will vent to me… the Besty will… and if you were put the two on a Venn Diagram, nothing of what they say will overlap. It’s like they’re telling two different stories.

Other than that, not much exciting going on.

S.O. hasn’t heard back from the place. Which I kind of expected.

I got drunk on bourbon and called my dad. That was fun.

He was hiding out at my other nana’s (his mom) away from the “slave drivers” and drinking a beer with my uncle (the one that lives in a refurbished school bus off the grid and rides a bicycle with a motor kit).

Also, I figured out why I felt so damned crappy.

Kind of irritating actually.

There hasn’t been any pollen alerts popping up… but damn it all, there’s oak pollen everywhere.


It’s like, the weather cools off, and suddenly all of nature thinks it’s mating season again or something.

Just ugh. Save it for the spring, okay!

Different note: I’ve mentioned this a few times, albeit cryptically… or maybe not so much. Whatever. As it gets closer to the big day, my 20 Something Existential Crisis will be over. I’m moving on and moving over to a new site, strictly dedicated to my 30’s — I want it to have a different tone and vibe. Also, with going back to school and trying to do the grown up thing where I dedicate myself to more than the xbox and drinking by myself.

I’ve been doing work on it and I can’t wait to share it with you.

I’ll post the link when it’s time.

Also, ya’ll are so dang awesome.



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The People Who Make Your Life Weird and Uncomfortable, But You Love Them


‘Ello folks!

What a shitty start to the day, I’ve had.

Woke up with a damned migraine.

But, it’s probably my own damn fault. More than probably. It is. Completely and utterly my fault because I got mixed up in some business the night before.

Went and had sushi with Besty last night. Evidently her and Motorhead are on “a break to work on our friendship.”

Which was preempted by her catching the feels for Greasy Guitar Guy.

Lawdy! Lawdy!

So I had a rather awkward night. I went and watched her sing with her band. Motorhead was there. So was Greasy Guitar Guy. I had rode with Besty over there and Motorhead took me home.

But it was awkward as hell….

Like she’d look for excuses to go and hang out with Greasy Guitar Guy just kind of leaving Motorhead and me at the table giving significant “this is really fucked up and shitty” looks to each other.

Essentially whilst eating massive amounts of sushi, Besty was telling me how Greasy Guitar Guy has “awakened something in her” that she “thought she could never feel” and “would have regrets” if she didn’t “investigate” her “feelings” with Greasy Guitar Guy.

Now — Motorhead is a catch. He’s good looking, can sing, has all of his teeth, good full time job, house mortgage, decent savings, investments, car that’s paid for, is in engineering school. I mean, he does have some neediness and insecurity issues, but nobody is perfect.

Then there’s Greasy Guitar Guy, who is obviously good with his hands. I did see him play guitar last night, and it was pretty… er… what to the kids say… “tight.”


So, Greasy Guitar Guy comes over and says, “you told me your name is Carolanne, right?”

“Uhhh…. I haven’t said anything to you, but yeah, that’s my name.”

“Oh, Besty told me.”

He shook hands with Motorhead, complementing his singing skills, which are amazing — like win one of those TV singing shows amazing.

Motorhead and I looked at each other.

I said in his ear, “that was the most awkward thing I’ve had to go through in a long time. Even more awkward than the dermatologist inspecting every inch of my skin for cancer.”


Also, this place had no A/C. It was dark and still in the 80’s night. Hell, it was cooler outside than in this place. It was hot as testicles.

Stayed out until my bed time. Which means I got home and (cold) shower and got in bed about a quarter til midnight.

And I woke up with a goddamned migraine.

… didn’t make it into work until a quarter til 11am.

So, fun times.

Which brings me to the next migraine inducing thing I’m going to have to do — have a come to Jesus with Besty.

Because it was shitty. It was very fucking shitty. And I love this girl. I want what’s best for her because she is my best friend. But damn. It’s killing Motorhead watching her flirt openly with Greasy Guitar Guy.

So, I have a hidden talent that, well, is kind of hokey.

I read Tarot. And I’m petty… really, damn good. Not to toot my own horn.

Besty asked that I read her cards this afternoon.

Yeah… I feel another migraine coming on. Not that this one hasn’t gone away.


Also, as soon as I got home, I called S.O. and let him know I love him and I’d never do that to him.

He was very appreciative.


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The World Is Ending on Saturday


Ain’t it a great time to be alive?

WASHINGTON — If you had big plans this weekend, David Meade regrets to inform you that the world will be ending Saturday.

Meade, a Christian numerologist and self-described “researcher,” says Sept. 23 is foretold in the Bible’s Book of Revelation as the day a series of catastrophic events will begin, and as a result, “a major part of the world will not be the same,” the Washington Post reports.

The Bible prophecies a woman “clothed with the sun” and a “crown of 12 stars” giving birth to a boy who will “rule all the nations” while she fights off a seven-headed dragon. The woman, Meade says, is the constellation Virgo, which on Saturday will be positioned under nine stars and three planets, per Popular Mechanics.

The baby boy will be the planet Jupiter, which will be moving out of Virgo on that night.

According to Meade, who says he studied astronomy at an unspecified university in Kentucky, the great change in our world will be the result of the arrival of Nibiru, a planet famous in conspiracy circles but which astronomers say doesn’t exist.

A video published by UNSEALED, an evangelical Christian publication, explains the pending rapture. The video has been viewed over 3 million times.

David Morrison, a senior space scientist at NASA, says that if Nibiru were really on a collision course with Earth, we would have seen it by now.

“It would be bright,” he says, per the Post. “It would be easily visible to the naked eye.”

But that’s not dissuading Meade, who points to the fact that Sept. 23 falls 33 days after last month’s total solar eclipse as proof of his prophecy.

“Jesus lived for 33 years. The name Elohim, which is the name of God to the Jews, was mentioned 33 times [in the Bible],” Meade told The Washington Post. “It’s a very biblically significant, numerologically significant number. I’m talking astronomy. I’m talking the Bible … and merging the two.”

Ironically, a producer at a Montreal radio station said she tried to book an interview with Meade but he said he’s not available until next week.

To recap: Despite multiple conspiracy theories over the years, Nibiru still does not exist — and is certainly not on a collision course toward Earth.

Well, I wonder if the apocalypse happens, will I still have to pay my student loans.



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The “Ugh” Times


Hey guys.

Little bleh today. Since my thyroid meds got lowered yet again, I’m going through that week long adjustment period where I feel like a sack of potatoes.

Like, I feel that shit in my bones.

I was talking with an old friend from high school on FB this week who was diagnosed with Graves’ Disease — hyperthyroidism. And she’s going through all kinds of hormonal and physical craziness and may need to have her thyroid removed.

Just damn.

Thyroid disease is no joke.

So, I don’t have much else going on with my life. Both Monday and yesterday, I just went home, got a shower, and crashed. Like in bed at 7pm.

Makes me kind of feel like an old lady.

But alas….

Since I’ve got nothing else to talk about, here’s some throw backs of Harley Cat being adorable.

So yeah….


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The Other 10 Questions I Have For Bloggers


Good afternoon, lovelies!

So, In light of me making 300 followers, I figured I’d do a small happy dance and get to know my awesome followers a little better. So, here goes it…

  1. How is your day going so far and what are you excited about doing in the near future?
  2. What is the most favorite aspect about yourself, and why?
  3. What is the biggest challenge you have faced thus far in your life, and how did you overcome it? And if you are still working at it, what’s your game plan?
  4. What is something you are a jack, master, or expert in/of?
  5. What was the subject of the last dream you remember having?
  6. Why is your best friend your best friend?
  7. What do your favorite pajamas look like and why are they your favorite pajamas?
  8. If you had a time machine (think TARDIS) and you can go anywhere in space and time, where would you go and why?
  9. Why is your favorite color your favorite color?
  10. What was the last thing that you laughed at — like hard core belly laugh, spewing soda out your nose, sides hurting, can’t catch your breath?

Now, you don’t have to answer all of them. But if you do, I won’t stop you.

Have a great rest of your day, guys!


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The Constant Mediator


Ya’ll know what really, really sucks?

When you are friends with a couple, say Besty and Motorhead, then they go and break up. And because you are such good friends with each person, you end up becoming their agony aunt.

Besty is into some other dude and Motorhead is holding it together. S.O. was in town and we had Motorhead over to dinner Saturday night and he was in pieces.

Well, not literally.

But how do you even do this?

I’m trying to be a good friend to both of them, but I don’t want one to feel like I’m betraying them because I’m friendly and supportive to the other.


But other than that, I had a pretty good weekend.

S.O. and I went and saw It — very scary.

Although, it did rely a great deal on jump scares. But to me, the scariest scenes, weren’t the jump scares.

Also! Nobody brought their screaming children into a rated R movie, unlike the last three or four rated R movies S.O. and I went to go and see.

Screaming children in the middle of John Wick kind of sort of really completely ruins the movie. Same for Logan, Alien: Covenant, Deadpool… yeah….

I did get a call from my doctor and they are lowering my thyroid medication again. Yay!

My TSH was still less than .006 — a.k.a. trace to non-existent.

S.O. had his interview today. I tried to call him earlier, but wasn’t able to reach him. He may have been driving home.

Here’s for hoping. Ya’ll keep your fingers and toes crossed.

And, I found the entire Avatar: The Last Airbender series at Walmart for $27 — Score!

… and pretty much, that’s what’s going on with my life.

How’s life going for ya’ll?


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The Ode to the Grandmas

I love both of my grandmothers so much.

See, grandmas are only fun when you are little and when you are older. And I’m at the stage where I appreciate and love them so much.

Like, if I go down and see my Nana Lynda, she takes me to the flea market, to bingo, we watch the Hallmark Channel, play cards, and drink beer together.


And it is amazing. When I was a teenager, I would have hated it. Now, I love spending time with my Nana Lynda.

With my Nana Rosie, when I come over, we chat for hours and she shows me all her new furniture and kitchen appliances. Cooks for me. Takes me shopping, because I can never have enough clothes. Gets groceries for me.


When my PawPaw (her husband) was still alive, he bought me my first car, a red 89′ Ford Bronco. Despite it’s issues, I loved my Bronco. Until the transmission went out and my dad (who had already put a new battery in, rebuilt all the brake lines, put a new distributor module in, new brakes and rotors, helped me get tires, changed the oil, taught me how to check everything under the hood, and helped me clean and wax the thing) refused to fix it. I had to part with my beloved Bronco, and get my little Chevy Cobalt.


It totally had a completely red interior. Like everything. The vinyl, seats, carpet… everything.

Yesterday was my Nana Rosie’s 70th birthday. My Nana Lynda turned 70 earlier this year.

I called her early in the morning and wished her a happy birthday. She had to go and do bloodwork then she was going to get her nails done.

I asked if they had power back, she said no.

“Do you still need me to put some money in your checking account?”

“Well, I get paid tomorrow, and the hurricane wasn’t as bad as I thought, so I’ll be okay.”

“You sure?”


Two or three hours later.

“Carolanne, I’m at your bank and it’s still closed. Google says all the ones in central Florida are still closed.”

God I love my Nana.

Still haven’t been able to reach my Nana Lynda — the ATT tower in her area went down and she hasn’t had service — but, dad says she’s okay.

But as I grow older, I really cherish every conversation, every moment that I have. I’ve lost both my grandfathers already — well, both my nanas’ husbands. Never met either of my biological grandfathers, but my grandmothers were married to them since before I was thought of… so yeah, for all intents and purposes, they are my grandfathers. I lost one in 2010 and one in 2014.

Conveniently, my grandmothers are finally located in the same area, so I don’t have to choose to either go to Atlanta to see one or Daytona to see the other.

Thanksgiving this year is going to be awesome. I already requested the whole week off. Made S.O. do it too.

Also, since it is the cusp of Autumn, I figured I would celebrate the basic white girl way — pumpkin spice creamer in my coffee.

Oh yeah.

So, yeah, cherish your grandparents. I know it’s not cool to “hang out” with them in your teens and twenties, but getting older makes me realize they aren’t going to be here forever and to enjoy every moment spent with them.


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The Fortunate Girl


Good morning, lovelies!

I survived the hurricane-pocalypse.

I lost power for a whole second. It went off, I cursed, then it came back on. Alas, the power of the “F” word.

On a more serious note, we didn’t get it that bad, but lots of other people across Florida and Georgia did. I have some friends in the Atlanta area, who lost power, like, “Is this karma for not buying 40 cases of water.”

There’s lots of flooding and debris, but we made it.

I’m not sure if my folks have power yet. I know S.O. got power back early in the AM yesterday.

But yeah, I’m alive.

I’m calling the five days I was home, the anxiety vacation. I got paid for the days the office was closed, so there’s always a silver lining.

Looking forward to the good things —  pay day. S.O.’s job interview. Getting to see him this weekend. The planning for his exodus, and looking at bigger places.

Just lots of good things on the horizon.

Also, officially one month until I turn 30. This will be the end of The 20-Something Existential Crisis.

Wonder what my next decade will be called?


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The Hurricane is Here… Apparently

9:15 pm, 9/10
Woke up about an hour ago from a five hour nap. Still have power (thankfully) because I still had a load in the wash and needed to run the dishwasher.

My body is giving me a great big anxiety fuck you by deciding Aunt Flo needed to visit, along with the damn hurricane. I haven’t had regular cycles since I got my IUD in May, so I know this is my body dicking with me.

Curled up with a cup of hot tea and some xbox.

I helped Besty get some plywood from her folks and we boarded up her windows while Motorhead got called into work — he does IT for one of the emergency preparedness agencies.

And… she paid me in wine.

So, I was tipsy before 2pm and fell asleep on the couch watching Gone With The Wind.

Because, irony.

Right now, it’s windy — tree tops are a-swaying — and sprinkling. Not much thunder and lightning.

If S.O. gets power back before me, I’ll probably load up mi gatos and go to his place.

I’m going to keep updating this one post instead of innundating ya’lls feeds. So, for updates, please check here.

For followers in the path, please stay safe and hunker down. Dont go out unless absolutely necessary. My thoughts are with you.

11:20 pm, 9/10

Still up. Still got power. Not drunk. Actually got a bit of a headache and cramps. Been playing Oblivion.

I talked to my Nana Lynda, in the Deland/Daytona area, an hour ago and she’d lost power. Mom and dad live down the street from her and they still have power.

Rain is kind of picking up. Not as much wind as before. Kind of a lull.

Will keep ya’ll updated.

1:30am, 9/11

Still here. Supposed to start getting really, really bad in the next hour.

Haven’t lost power yet. Getting a little sleepy. I’m sure the hurricane will prevent sleep from happening.

Also, stupid people:

8:19am, 9/11

Just woke up. Had weird hurricane dreams. Still have power.

Sounds pretty bad outside. Lots of gusts and rain. However, Irma isnt quite here yet.

1pm, 9/11

Still alive.

I laid down and went back to sleep and drempt of a hurricane. I was kind of discombobulated when I woke up and thought it was worse than it was.

Still have power. Besty and Motorhead don’t.

So, I’m going to curl up on the sofa and nap. Try to catch up on sleep.


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The Hurricane Wait Part 4

Good morning, lovelies.

Holy crap. Its gonna be bad.

So… yeah….

I anxious cleaned last night. I just couldn’t sit still. So I killed my wine. There wasnonly a little left. Took some benadryl and fell asleep on the couch 20 minutes into the movie.

Also, its this weird dichotomy of everyone in the path of the hurricane being so thoughtful and kind…. and lots of love from folks not in the path… but internet asshat keyboard warriors talking about how these last two hurricanes (Irma and Harvey) are karma for going red in the last election.


Why would you even do that.

And it gets better… people actually wanting all the “Trump supporters” to come here so that they will be in the direct path of the hurricane.

I can’t make this shit up.

Just ugh. People suck.


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The Hurricane Wait Part 3

I tried to make ya’ll a video… but either WP app was being stupid or my phone was being stupid. Wouldn’t put it past either.

So, we’re screwed.

All the models are showing That Bitch Irma a-knocking on my door tomorrow or early.

Leon county started voluntary evacuations. But I’m sure all of those who wanted to voluntarily evacuate have done so.

Then there are dumbasses like me.


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The Hurricane Wait Part 2

Good morning, lovlies.

Please pardon typos — banging this out on my phone.

Irma appears to be tracking westward and probably going to make landfall in the Naples/Ft. Myers area and head up the western part of the state. AKA where I live.

Still waiting. It’s killing me and if I had more cash, I’d be completely not sober the whole time. I’m rationing out my bottle of wine.

I got my sandbags yesterday. Besty, Motorhead, and I went to a local park who was doing fillings and filled not only 15 for them and seven for me, but we stayed for an extra hour and helped other folks fill. Probably filled about 50.

Suffice it to say, my shoulders are so effing sore today.

My dad finally found a generator.

Last night, I had dinner with Besty and Motorhead and we watched This Is Us. Holy god. We watched three episodes and I just sobbed the whole way through. It was so good, but I couldn’t do any more.

Also factor in a huge motherfucking hurricane.

I’m completely emotionally exhausted right now.


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The Hurricane Pause for Good News


Hey guys!

Pausing my hurricane anxiety fest to bring some super awesome and amazing news.

S.O. finally got called in for an interview here in two weeks.

Holy crap, I’m so happy.

Two years he’s been trying to find a job here.

I need ya’ll to please keep your fingers, toes, legs, everything crossed and send all the good juju you have.

But save some for the hurricane — I totally want to survive this.

Updates: my nana still hasn’t found a generator lol. Also, my brother called from prison because he was worried about us. If the American model holds true, he’ll get it worse because it will make landfall in Georgia near where he is. They’ve evacuated some more coastal prisons in Georgia and some went to where he is.

“They” are saying if the American model holds true it will just be “devastating”. If the European model hold true it will be “catastrophic.”

American model:


European model:


But hands down, worse hurricane for Florida since Andrew 25 years ago.



Funny story: my Nana Lynda (not the one freaking out about the generator) went through Andrew on a houseboat in the St. John’s river near Palatka. And she was so nonplussed by it.

No shit.

My Nana Lynda is the strongest person I know. And she’s not even batting an eye about this hurricane. Her house is cinder block. She’s signed up with the special needs shelter in Volusia county, because she’s on oxygen, but she doesn’t want to leave because she’ll have to pack up all her medical supplies (for her ostomy, and the oxygen), and leave her bird and cat.

Also, she had just finished her fight against colon cancer and got her ostomy right before Andrew hit.

She is literally super woman.

Well, I wasn’t intending this to be a hurricane post. I just wanted to share my good news about S.O.

But dammit. It turned into a hurricane post.

Like I said, still waiting.

Governor gave us the day off tomorrow for folks more south than us to evacuate. I’m going to do laundry, pack a bag, clean my house, take pictures of my expensive shit for insurance, and play xbox.

And maybe cook some of my frozen stuff so it lasts longer when/if we lose power… and maybe cook it with Besty and Motorhead.


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The Hurricane Wait

So… I’m just chilling here at work with not much to do…

Mostly because everyone else in the state is evacuating and it makes it “interesting” to do work when your work consists of coordinating medical care for folks around the state.

They have other concerns… like this beast:


I’m as prepared as I’m going to be.

Seems weird though, it was absolutely beautiful this morning. We had a cold front come in and it was 65 degrees outside and it was just lovely.

I would just love to sit on a terrace and sip coffee right now.

What wasn’t lovely was the horrible traffic. Usually my commute takes 12 minutes.

Not today.

It took 30 minutes. There were three major accidents in town.

Folks be acting crazy with this hurricane and all.

I talked with my Daddy-O last night and he said his hurricane plan is to “open the windows, listen to the radio, and drink beer.”


I went ahead and gave both my nana’s the number to the special needs shelter (both oxygen dependent) just in case.

But one of my Nana’s is friggin determined to get a generator.

She went to the Home Depot yesterday and they got a truck in with 30-40 generators.

Sold out in five minutes.

I have four pounds of ground turkey in my freezer.

Looks like Besty and Motorhead and I are going to have to have a grill-a-thon tomorrow.

Going to try to get all my laundry done and get my house clean before our “visitor”


Like I said, I’m not sure I want to leave. If the weather stays cool and the storm isn’t going to be above a cat 2, I’m going to stay.

Honestly, the worst part of Hermine last year was the lack of power.

It was 90 degrees out and the lack of AC was the balls.

But if it stays 60’s-70’s, I’ll stay. Also, if I still have a roof.

That’s important.


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The Hurricane Plan Part 2


So yeah, there’s no way this son of a bitch isn’t hitting us.

Looks like it’s going to travel up the panhandle and hit Tallahassee as a cat 3 or 4.

Governor Scott has closed all state offices on Friday (probably Monday and Tuesday, too, if it’s that bad).


So yeah… got the day off on Friday. Even though it isn’t going to hit us until Sunday or Monday.

Right now there’s a lot of models.

But this is where it is:


I braved Winn Dixie last night and it was slammed. My Winn Dixie is pretty tame. Not a lot of people shop there, even though they have lots of good deals and stuff.

I got a bunch of canned stuff, ziplock bags, baby wipes, and a bottle of wine.


They were completely out of water. Like nada. I’m so glad I had the foresight to pick some up Sunday night. I also filled up a bunch of empty plastic bottles I had and put them in the freezer. My mom said it will keep things cooler, longer, when/if the power goes out.

I also went through and inventoried my bug out bag… just in case I need to, you know, bug out.

Pretty comprehensive list:

  • Clothing
    • 5 pairs of drawers
    • 6 pairs of socks
    • pair of pants
    • yoga pants
    • leggings
    • 2 tee shirts
    • 2 flannel shirts
    • 2 cami’s
  • Food
    • 1 liter bottle of water
    • 2 smaller bottles
    • 2 cans of beans
    • 1 can of tomatos
    • 1 can of raviolis
    • can opener
    • metal bowel
    • Steno stove (don’t have yet, but when I get some cash, it’s totally happening)
    • spoon
  • Hygiene
    • Shampoo
    • Conditioner
    • Deodorant
    • Baby wipes
    • tooth brush
    • tooth paste
    • soap
    • Smooshed roll of TP
    • chapstick
    • fingernail clippers
  • Medical
    • Bandaids
    • antibiotic ointment
    • gauze
    • benadryl
    • allegra
    • advil
    • vitamins
    • levothyroxine (my thyroid meds that I can’t function without)
    • Menstrual pads
  • Misc
    • Small hammer
    • Pliers
    • Glow sticks
    • deck of playing cards
    • journal
    • pens/pencils/sharpie
    • twine
    • rope
    • Swiss army knife
    • Pocket knife
    • ear plugs
    • 100 9mm rounds (and before anyone starts, no I don’t plan on shooting anyone. But I’m also not keeping my pistol in my bag. It has it’s own case.)
    • water purifying tablets

Also, I went ahead and pulled out my cat carrier just in case. It’s best to pull it out and let the cats get used to its presence instead of pulling it down at the last minute and scaring the crap out of them… then having to pull them out from under the bed and get your face clawed off.

I’ve got 7/8 a tank of gas, right now. I’m sure that will change as the week plays out. I need to go ahead and top it off, but there are legit places in Tallahassee where they are out of gas or gas is over $3 per gallon.

I had some family friends in Atlanta offer me and my gatos a place just in case we need to evac. I talked to my mom and dad, and both my nana’s, who live in the Daytona area. Dad doesn’t want to evac — he just bought his house. Mom said they’d go just north of the Georgia border and camp out in a cheap motel. Or beshit themselves on S.O.

Lord knows he has the room.

My bug out plan is essentially go to S.O.’s… although, he’s only an hour and a half northeast of me, so whatever we get, they’ll get.

But he got power on much quicker during Hermine.

Will keep ya’ll updated.


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